Say you are a man

Say you are a man
And you look upon a child
A girl child
In the glow of her innocence
And a thing tells you that you can do things to her that she will not know
So you bid her come
And in the darkness of your heart
And the solitude you have forged for your vice
You hug her a little too tightly
Feel her warmth a little too closely
Smell the earthiness in her virgin hair a little too keenly
And look at her in that way that no one does

She goes away for a while and you find her again because your lust will not be abated
This time, the thing nudges you on a little more
So you find a reason to touch her prepubescent breasts or rest a hand on her thighs – as though it were the most ordinary thing to do
You brush up against her in the hallway so your fingers can trace the outline of her pants beneath that skirt.
You talk to her about school and other such ordinary things while your senses continue to feed its lust in creative, ‘accidental’ ways
And that thing tells you to go on in your pursuit to own her:
‘She is but a child’ it says, ‘go on, she will never know.’

So each time in the company of your vice, the voice of the thing and the creative machinations of your depraved mind makes you nib a little more at the frail edges of her young mind till perhaps someday you seize it all.

Then you find feeble words to temper her confusion, words that wrap her a gift of guilt or give her the burden of silence. You speak of love or care or such things men speak of at such times that boycotts thought. You bind yourself into a knot of conspiracy that for you was desire sated but for the girl is a different thing.

You fail to see that for her;
It is shattered trust in a man the world had told her would protect her
It is a tangled sense of self that may never fully unravel again – an identity held captive in the cells of memory, made worthless by your senseless actions
It is a darkness filled with tears and uncertainty
It is a narrow corridor filled with fear and dread
It is a quicker beating heart as you approach
It is confusion, trying to interpet a language without words that someday will find meaning in a young woman’s heart and draw bile and resentment.
Words that when fully understood may stir up anger enough to color a woman’s world ill, or sink her to sullen depths of despair from which she may never recover.

***
Say you are a man,
When that thing speaks to you
And finds you the opportunity to dip your lust into the placid waters of a child’s innocence
Do not listen to it
For she will know someday
That you had the chance to redeem mankind –
your kind
But you failed to do so

Written by: Osundolire Ifelanwa

 

P.S: This is a beautiful poem that captures the evil of sexual exploitation of young girls. But it also extends to rape and sexual abuse of women in general. We need to keep talking about this evil, and keep having conversations about it. Hopefully, one innocent soul will be spared; one life will be saved.

Please, read, share, reblog and spread the message.

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24 thoughts on “Say you are a man

  1. Wow I saw this and was so angry at the first few lines I was getting ready to leave a nasty comment to be honest. But then realised what it was. I have started to share my story of being abused when j was a child on my blog. I actually started my blog mainly for that reason. Thanks for sharing this it’s strangely beautiful

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    1. Hi Ajnabiyah, I am glad you decided to stay till the end. I am happy that you have found the strength to share your story. I believe it’s the final step to healing. And it will give hope and inspiration to others who are going through or who have suffered similar pain. I believe that we should have more people speaking up and talking about abuse in all forms – emotional, physical, and domestic- and rather than shame the victims, to vilify the perpetrators. The more we talk about it the more victory we will achieve. Hopefully

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      1. Unfortunately I wasn’t strong enough until now some of my friends knew mostly about my uncle’s abuse towards me but but the depth of what I had been through and my mum’s treatment towards me I had always carried it with me as if it’s my fault. You can’t rush healing and it will all fall into place when the time is right and heal what was broke that’s how I feel about it

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        1. I’m so sorry you had to go through it. And it’s hard when the people who are supposed to protect us let us down. I am glad you have found the strength now. Now you are in control. You can take your life back. Healing is a process and it takes time. You just focus on one day at a time. And forgive too – all the players in the situation. When you forgive, you find peace. You can let go the hurt and then have enough space in your heart for love: to love others, and to accept love. It’s not easy though, but it’s worth it.

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            1. Never say never. It’s hard; in fact, it’s the hardest thing you’d ever do. Take it in small steps: let small chunks of your anger and hurt go each day. You’ll get to a point and it’ll be easy to say: I am not even upset about it anymore, and you know what I forgive them. And you’ll feel so much better. I promise

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              1. I don’t think I can. My every step to forgive my mother was flung in my face I realised I was trying to find some common sense or something I needed an explanation and wasn’t truly trying to forgive her. Who knows now I have cut her out maybe I’ll forgive her one day. But those who molested me already evaded the law I feel my forgiveness just makes what they did ok and it certainly wasn’t ok

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                1. You don’t need to forgive them for them. No matter what you do, their actions will NEVER be okay. You don’t need them to explain why they did what they did. There is NO excuse for that. And they might have escaped the legal system but trust me, they can’t escape the bad karma hanging over their heads. Forgive them for you. They don’t have to be in your life, you don’t have to be on speaking terms with them. But forgive them. Don’t let them make you suffer because you are still carrying around the anger and hurt and all the negative energy they imposed on you when they violated your trust. Letting them go and forgiving them is for you. Because if you don’t, then they win. Forgive them and win: take back control, don’t let any part of your life be controlled by what they did or who they are.

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                  1. I don’t knoe I just feel like forgiveness is kind if fake. Do people really forgive those who harm them or do they just pretend tibbecause it makes them feel good to think they can forgive and gain that ” control” in the situation. Do you get what I mean ?

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                    1. I get what you mean. It can be hard to forgive. And true forgiveness takes time. But it’s possible to forgive. The key is to set it (forgiveness) as a destination: sort of like “a place I want to be” or “the place I’m going to”. Then we start walking or journeying towards it. It’s a process, and doesn’t happen suddenly.

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                    2. I rather not. Then id feel like I’m not free until I reach that kind of like a never ending self inflicting pain and fail. I think some need to forgive to feel better and some probably don’t

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                    3. I guess we all have different ways of dealing with pain. The most important thing would be to not allow the past define us and affect our future relationships and how we interact with the world. If we can all achieve that, and spread love wherever we go, then we can live happily and make the world a better place. And then we make sure we fight for others so that they don’t go through the pain we have gone through and if they have, to lend a helping hand to help them get past it. Irrespective of the monsters and the evil in the world, life is still beautiful, and we should never forget that fact.

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                    4. I guess so. I can’t help but think regardless how much we think we moved on and it isn’t or won’t affect us anymore that the reality is we are who we are and will never know how we could have been if it never happened. I can’t help but cringe some people just look like paedophiles.

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                    5. I don’t think it’s possible not to develop a little bit of paranoia after such traumatic event. But you have to consciously fight it. There’s so much good in this world and you have to actively seek it out. The world is still standing today because there are more good people than evil. So, always remember that, and fight that tendency to believe the worst about people. And you are right, our past shapes us. We cannot separate ourselves from our past. We can rise above it though – by realizing how much how past have formed us and made us who we want to be. Then we ask ourselves what we see of ourselves in future and if we are on track. If not, then we make a conscious effort to better ourselves- free ourselves from the shackles of the past, the influences of past experiences, and that voice that constantly haunts us. We fight to become better and to be able to look back and be proud of how far we have come; how we turned around what was meant to break us, into something that formed us and made us into someone stronger, more loving, more empathetic and a victor.

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                      Liked by 1 person

  2. I wish, that for as many as are tempted to sexually molest impressionable and doe-eyed lassies; just because they bloody heck can, would stop for a minute to think through the pain and life-long trauma they’re about to subject their victims to, by saying these seemingly simple yet profound line…’I am a man’; and pretty much allowing for that moment of weakness and sheer wickedness to pass, go and stay gone; enough to come to their rightful senses and nip things in the bud before things escalate more than they oughta. But, that’s wishful thinking and a feat only a human being is capable of. Needless to say the perpetrators of this evil act are several notches lower than the beasts of the jungle.
    They’re monsters who needs to be taken off the streets and locked away for life in huge cages befitting of their ilk.

    That said, I love how the Narrator was able to capture succinctly and in all it’s entirety in a few lines, events leading up to a victim becoming violated. These lines paint the picture of the interactions between the predator and his victim too vividly.

    Kudos to the Author of this moving piece that seeks to remind of that horrible societal ill that’s rape and thanks for sharing too Doc. Many cheers!

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    1. Yemie spews venom! I kinda agree with you; no excuse justifies rape and abuse, and perpetrators deserve any and every form of punishment meted. Rape is evil. Period. No means no. Period. No excuse justifies physical assault of a woman. Period Women are beautiful and golden and to be cherished and treasured.

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  3. This is indeed really well written. It incredibly sad that things like that happen and that young girls have to go through this. The whole world should read this and I hope that the men who do this kind of thing will be sorry. Children should be safe at home, so please let them feel safe.

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    1. I totally agree with you: nobody should ever go through this; and I wish everybody would read this, and the predators desist from their evil. Please feel free to share this on as many platform as you can. Perhaps if we spread the message widely enough we can make an impact – save another girl from being molested. Thank you.

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      Liked by 2 people

  4. Sexual abuse. Rape. I’m so tired of hearing about these evils. Yet, I know, we have to keep talking about them.

    Then we should speak up against sexual exploitation of young boys (a real and underreported menace)
    and do this: Say you’re a woman…

    And it’s heartbreaking to see that there doesn’t appear to be a dent in the incidence. Perhaps, we have more victims speaking up, voicing out, strengthened by the increasing awareness. If one person is able to find healing, then all the talk would be worth it.

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    1. boys are often left unprotected, and who knows how many men have been violated as a child? and who knows whether the way they scorn women today is merely a revenge or a result of being broken from childhood abuse.

      rape is evil, whether it happens to boys or girls or to men or women. we should and will not stop talking – if we save one person, then it is worth it.

      Thank you for dropping by

      Liked by 2 people

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