Something in me broke and I don’t know what it was

something in me broke
and i don’t know what it was:
a dam or a wall.

if it was a dam, then all the emotions –
which i never knew i had –
would come spilling out,
running to shore and devouring the land,
gathering strength to tear down your wall.
but i see you standing still –
sturdy, steady, sure.

if it was a wall that broke, then i would be bereft,
open to your invasion of my treasure.
then my heart would be plundered,
my love carted away, displayed proudly in your heart.
but my heart is secure, encasing my love

still, when i peered into your eyes,
watched you sit languidly,
walking out of yourself unabashedly,

i felt something break in me.
but i do not know what it is.

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Yemie says:

    ‘Something in me broke and I don’t know what it was’, is the stuff of mysteries and intrigues. It’s gotten this certain ‘je ne sais quoi’ quality that makes it all the more puzzling and therefore appealing….lacking finality. “When the unknown becomes known, we lose something very big: The beauty of mystery”, according to the words of the wisely Mehmet Murat Ildan. Shaun Hick also opines this….”Knowledge is too final. Not knowing lets you dream a little”. 😄

    Perhaps the reason the Narrator’s finding it impossible…..almost, to put a finger on what’s broken inside; is simply just because. I feel like some feelings are only made to be felt and in trying to give expressions to them verbally, we quite succeed taking away from ’em and that’s besides the fact that it’d also prove to be an exercise in futility. Taking a few lines from a quote credited to Shaun David Hutchinson, he says this….”Feelings are intangible. You can’t see them, can’t touch them. You can hurt and no one would know…..”. 😀

    “Being at ease with not knowing is crucial for answers to come to you”, Eckhart Tolle asserts. Maybe then will it become possible to fix that which was broken. I however think it amazing really that even amidst not knowing, there’s a knowing of sorts….of an unnameable feeling that was actually felt and I do not find that just intriguing and awe-worthy, I think It’s just enough. 😇😄

    A wonder-filled compose is what you achieved here Doc, and it’s beauty is pretty deep and boundless especially as it relates to your use of ‘walls’ and ‘dams’. Very finely done Sir. 👏👏👏😆

    1. topazo says:

      The thing about not knowing sometimes, is that it niggles at one’s mind, demanding attention and solution. You see, the mind has been designed to explain everything and so it won’t let on until it knows. It’s the finality of knowing that the mind craves; because we all know that as with all dreams, it ends.

      Thank you for this beautiful comment Yemie.

      >

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