The Mating Dance

I finally acknowledge to myself the truth as I carefully select my underwear.

The secret to feeling good is to feel comfy in one’s underwear. I reach in the drawer for my favorite boxer shorts but let my hand hang over it. ‘You don’t have to overdo it na’ I say to myself. It is true that I have come to accept the truth about the motive behind my dressing and have stopped fighting it, still I needn’t go overboard.

I pick another of my boxer shorts, pink with flower design, another of my favorites. Next, I reach for the Axe deodorant — it is one of her favorites — and spray it on.

I smile.

Few weeks back, I would have been in a state of internal turmoil, resulting from shouting matches between two separate and equally stubborn halves of me. The one would be the prosecuting counsel in the ongoing courtroom brawl; pointing at the immorality of my actions and motives. The other, the defense counsel, doing an excellent job of causing ‘reasonable doubt’. Its arguments do not have to be logical or sound, and most often than not, are wrapped in oversized bags of sentiments but it always wins.

Well not always. But it never loses.

Not today. Today, there is no argument, no rhetoric; no apologetics. It is amazing what accepting the truth can do to you. It brings peace and lightness of heart and mind.

I rummage through my closet and find the right Tee shirt I had picked in my head since I woke up and remembered that I was going to be seeing her today. I debate about wearing the new sneakers I had just bought but again I resolve not to overdo things.

I am fully dressed and look in the mirror. I like what I see, from the black tee shirt fitted snugly and outlining ripped muscles and tapering waist over black jeans fading at the knees and a black suede loafers, to a well-trimmed side burns and beards framing well chiseled face.

I hope she likes it, I think.

I had finally accepted that in the past two months, the choice of my outfit were always influenced by the desire to Impress her.

We work together in a large institution where we don’t get to see every day, but each day, in the last two months, I dress with the hope of running into her. She has complimented me once or twice on my appearance and I always want to keep her impressed.

I want her to admire me, to be dazzled and to drool.

Which is absurd.

Because I am a married man. These are dangerous thoughts and are the first steps in the wrong direction.

I know that and yet I can’t help myself; I am smitten. Boys with crushes always have an insane need to impress and dazzle the object of their crushes. It is an instinctive drive, with origins in the unconscious and without any form of conscious control. It is as ancient as time, the mating dance. The male peacock, displaying its majestic feathers and strutting in front of the female. Its goal is to get the female to notice it and then to woo her.

I turn from the mirror and spray my dress with my perfume. I smell good

She loves men that smells good.

I know.

I smile.

I pick my car keys and head out– a human peacock.



18 thoughts on “The Mating Dance

  1. Wow!
    Captivating from start to finish.
    Very vivid picture you painted here. Felt like i was there with him, watching him dress up.😀😀Hehehehe and yes, it got me flashing my teeth in the dark.
    I do hope he gets back on track before it’s too late though.
    Human peacock 😀😃😀😃
    Such a delightful read.


  2. Oh Wow! The picture you paint so perfectly here’s pretty true to life Doc! Its like one who deliberately sets out to not only court and romance danger, he also tests and tempts fate while he’s at it! I wish I could say its more by accident than design but nay; his actions are carefully thought out with surgical precision down to the last detail….his perfumed boxers! The ‘devil in the detail’ and an outright premeditated act! 😂
    Bad, very BAD Panda! 😈😆

    Some folks are very skilled at causing their own storms to rage and wage, the only problem being that at the first advent of rain; which is followed pretty quickly by a torrential downpour; they start to bawl..screaming ‘Blue Murder’! 😆

    Plus, when we play with fire and it burns us; its not the fault of the fire; nuh-uh, its just its nature… burn! 😂😂😂

    ‘Mating Dance’ is a sizzler….a more than fascinating depiction of how one can very easily set oneself up for grave consequences that will thereafter result after that initial, very exhilirating thrill and high! And why not?! We totally get to choose our sins but we’re denied the ‘luxury’ of handpicking the consequences for our ‘indiscretions’! Sadly, the after-effects of those consequences reverbrate and stay with us so much longer than the ‘kicks’ we did get from that very moment we consciously veered off of the rails and thought to ‘dance’ on an extremely thin layer of ice! Yikes! 😆

    Great going Doc, ‘Human Peacock’ definitely cracked me up…GOOD! 😊😄


    1. Thanks for your candid thoughts Yemi.
      Boys with crushes, always do not think through the consequences of their actions.
      Plus this guy here is only just dressing to impress…nothing more.
      ” Plus, when we play with fire and it burns us; its not the fault of the fire; nuh-uh, its just its nature… burn! ” I love this!


  3. The description smarts! Totally. Welldone doc! And oh Lawd, where was Mrs when all this waltz and fancy charade was going on? Downstairs making breakfast for Junior and his sister abi? Diaris God sha. Hehe!



    1. Ah..the Mrs! Probably…or maybe even sprawled on the bed, naked, and watching with swelling pride and affection, the human peacock dressing!
      Thanks Me, for dropping by


  4. I smiled. Matter of fact I’m still smiling. 🙂

    The things we do for the object of our crush, even a peacock would chillax, observe and learn.

    Beautifully written Doc. That’s not a compliment but a recognition of a signature.

    PS: The like buttons have not returned from the holidays. Is there a way to drag them home better than an African juju would?


    1. “The things we do for the object of our crush, even a peacock would chillax, observe and learn.” This, this got me chuckling. So, even peacock be learner for these matters eh?!

      Those like buttons ehn…they have a mind of their own o. They usually don’t appear when the Webpage doesn’t load fully. No thanks to naija networks, especially MTN! I hate those guys!

      Thanks Sir Joe for your kind words, thank you.


  5. I completely, totally, undeniably love this.

    I was captivated and lost in the lines from start to finish.

    I particularly like the ending, that the rest was left to imagination.

    Brilliant writing as always.

    Bless your muse. 😉


  6. Lol @ human peacock…Topazo, one of the things that distinguish you is that you do not pull punches when it comes to reality….You are a master when it comes to the thin line between reality and fiction…lovely one as always bro….


  7. ‘Human Peacock’!
    Threading dangerous waters!!
    Wonderfully penned.
    You never disappoint Topazo.
    Captivating piece.

    Kai, Ayam missing o!


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