This is a topic that is dear to my heart. I remember many years back, as a teenager, on the cusp of adulthood, praying to God to help me keep myself pure till marriage. It was something I really wanted. I grew up with a strong sense of maintaining sexual purity – my body was the temple of the Holy Spirit; I had heard so often.
It was a prayer that God did not answer.
Few months back, Frances Okoro contacted me to contribute to her blog series titled “chastity for men” and I balked. I had nothing to say about chastity for men, or so I thought.
Several days following our exchange, I was down, as old wounds were re-opened. The memories that I had tried to bury and drown rushed to the surface, and like a tempest, they threatened to take me under. I rued the opportunity lost to be an example of sexual purity, especially in this age where the concept seemed to be a thing of ridicule rather than something to be proud of.
I had fantasized about this moment – where I would stand and declare my victory over the spirit of the age, the spirit of premarital sex that has derailed so many – but when it finally came, I couldn’t grab it.
Several weeks passed and Frances beeped me again; the blog series had morphed into a book. She sent me a copy and asked me to review it.
The book opened with an introductory chapter – Frances’ story. I read it with awe. She laid herself bare, not holding anything back. I was blown away.
It is a story of grace, of hope and of redemption.
“We fall down, but we get up” Donnie McClurkin sang. Saints are sinners that have fallen (severally) but who make the choice to get up (every time).
Our testimonies are not sullied by our past mistakes, rather, they shine brighter. Reading her story, I realized that it is not those who have not fallen alone that can be beacons but those who have once wallowed in the mire, sunk in the depths and have now overcome.
Her victory is a daily one and she wears it like a crown.
The book contains stories of men who have fought and continue to fight the war of sexual purity. They do not let the rave of popularized culture of sex, sexuality and sensuality sway them. They are unpopular, ridiculed, uncelebrated by the world and its systems, ideals and philosophies.
But in this book, they are celebrated and they are the heroes. They are people who love God, who love life and have decided to do the unconventional – to stand for God and for sexual purity. They say “it is possible to remain chaste in a world ruled by sex and sexuality. It is possible to please God and be pure”
The book is for those who are under the pressure to lose their values, and who feel alone. It is for those who are weighed down by the desires of their flesh and the fire burning in their loins; those facing the scorn and ridicule of friends, the taunting of partners, and the shame of being unpopular.
It is for those struggling with guilt and shame of having lost something precious. Those who have given up and go with the flow because they do not see the need to fight anymore. Those who have engaged in all forms of sexual impurities. The book says “there is hope, you can turn around, and still regain all that you have lost. You are worth more than your mistakes, they do not define you. It is the choices you make from now on that matters the most”
The book is for young and old, the unmarried and the married. The message cuts across age, race and gender.
The title is deceptive. It reads “Chastity for men” but really it is for women too. I recommend it for all. It is for knowledge, instruction, learning and for those who would love to mentor the next generation.
The good news? It is free!
Click here to get your copy.
Thank you Frances for letting me be part of this…getting godly men to stand for sexual purity!