It was the creaking of the door that woke me. My room is dark but moonlight streaks in through the open window, and I see a shadow move towards me. I am not afraid, I know who it is. In fact, I have been half expecting him.
This is his third time of coming into my room, and it is always at the same time. I have been thinking about tonight for a while now; what my response would be. But now that he is here, I still don’t know what to do.
The last time he came to my room, he said that he loved me. I know what it is – empty words deployed as a weapon to weaken my defenses. I am not new to the tactic, in fact, it is the modus operandi of men whenever they wanted to get you to sleep with them.
It was what Sule had said on that day on the farm as he convinced me to have sex with him.
“Rashidat, I love you very much” he had said, as he crushed my body to his, and holding me tightly against him “I will take care of you. I don’t have much but I will spend my every penny on you to make you happy”
It was the sweetest words anyone had ever spoken to me, and my young heart had lapped it all up, and held on to it tightly. I repeated it over and over in my head as wave after wave of pain washed over me as he took me on the hard earth under the baobab tree.
I am wiser now and my uncle’s profession of love is not the reason I am considering sleeping with him tonight. The truth is, I am in love with him.