…liquid fire flow through my veins
Ladi sighed and closed his eyes. The room suddenly felt cold, and looked bigger than it was. Her aura had filled up the room some seconds ago, but now, it felt hollow.
Although he was unwilling to admit it, he knew what the familiar ache in his chest, and the lump in his throat was.
He missed her.
Which is strange because they had just had a huge argument. He had been so angry that he had been trembling visibly. His voice had risen several notches and he had said some hurtful words. He clenched his hands tightly to still his trembling hands.
…molten magna spill from my mouth…
Why do we always fight nowadays? His head dropped into his palms, with his elbows planted on the table.
I don’t want her to go. Maybe that was the problem; the insatiable need to be with her. They could hang out all day and when it was time to go, he would still not want her to go. Right from the moment he met her, he had known that he wanted to spend every moment of his life with her.
Sadly, things did not quite work out the way he had dreamt about severally.
….ashes are spewed from a volcano in the centre of my chest…
I am pushing her away. Realization dawned on him. For the first time, he began to doubt if their friendship was ever going to survive, and this scared him in no small measure.
Perhaps it was a good thing that they were drifting apart. He couldn’t bear the intimacy and the closeness, it was choking him. Being with her, every day was a torture; being so close to her, inhaling her scent and not being able to just hold her and crush her body against him was hell. The occasional brush of skin as they sat hurdled over her desk working on an account sent shivers down his spine and it took all his will power to act unfazed by it all, day after day.
He longed for her. He could never get enough of her and couldn’t get away from her. When he was alone, he thought of her and when he was with other women, he was always comparing them to her.
….thick smoke blind my eyes….
Sade, I am sorry, I love you so much. His heart was bleeding, and tears stung his eyes. If only you know how much I love you, how much I long for you and yearn for you. Why did you reject me? We were made for each other, and you knew that, yet you walked away.
He would never understand her reason for walking away from what they had. Not that he was entirely blameless, God knows he had a huge part to play in their failed romance but he had been honest and willing to work at it.
Was that why he was always angry at her? Is this retribution for a broken heart?
…I can’t breathe, I am suffocating….
All traces of anger had evaporated. All that was left was longing. He wished for the anger; it was a shield against the cold wrapping its hands around his heart. He lived for her smile, and even when she was being petulant and impossible like she was today, he still found her super attractive and sexy.
She made him feel alive. With her, he finally understood the word called passion. She was someone he could do anything for. The best part was that the feeling was mutual. Together, they burned brightly, an all-consuming fire of love and affection that was both comforting and scary when they were together, and now that they were apart, it was like roasting from the inside.
It was that fire that had scared her away. While he had been running towards the flames, she had been running away from it.
….rivers of tears overflow from broken heart springs…
It is difficult going back to just being friends. Perhaps it is too soon to be spending so much time together like we used to before we fell in love. It is hard opening up to her and being free around her. It just makes the feeling stronger and makes it harder to think straight.
They had talked about these feelings and had agreed to stay friends in spite of them, promising to help each other overcome them. It was easier said than done.
…sheets of snow and fire in a battle for supremacy…
I doubt if she noticed what I was wearing. Ladi wondered at the odd thought. True, he had carefully selected his outfit that morning. Scratch that, he has been carefully selecting his outfit all week, and with Sade on his mind. Will she like this? Why not wear that? She likes this shirt or that trouser. He would always find a way to justify his choice of an outfit, telling himself that he loved a particular shirt, but somehow hoping she will be impressed.
These are the things she is putting me through. He picked up his phone to call her but he decided against it. He would allow her to cool down and then they would settle. He shook his head as he recollected the event of the day and what had caused the quarrel.
We are both stubborn and bull-headed. It has started as a joke, a very expensive joke, and she had taken it too seriously. Then she had lashed out at him, and told him that he was disrespectful and has been taken her for granted. He had stared unbelievingly at her as she had launched into a monologue of what to say and what not to say to her.
….searing pain, tongs of steel, red hot glowers
If I can turn back the wheels of time…. The phone rings putting a halt to his thoughts. The caller was stored as ‘Honey’.
He sighed as he swiped across the screen and lifted the phone to his ear. “Hello dear” he said, infusing some cheer into his voice. A minute later, he disconnected the call.
He sighed and stood up from his desk. It was time to go home.
…..rumbling of thunder, frenzied dance of windswept leaves
Nature on rampage, savage beasts feasting on carcass
Strewn all over;
Streets of memories filled with wares
Arsenals of pain, weapons of hurt
Rungs of pleasure leading into the depths of hell
Demons with claws, stench of death
Aura of love
image courtesy google