The Wedding Advert

The bride gasped and gripped the groom’s arm, whose brows were creased in a frown as he watched the middle aged man walk down the aisle leisurely.

The bride’s mother was crying softly in the front pew and muttering about her enemies making a mockery of her on her happiest day.

Everybody waited for the man to give the reason why the couple could not be joined together.

“My name is Chukwudi” he said in a thick Ibo accent “I deal in female underwear and I just want to wish my very good customer a happy married life”

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13 Comments Add yours

  1. zikaolofin says:

    Lol😂😁😅. Now 😈Topazo, why did you make it Chukwudi, ehn? Why not Bala or Segun? Hmm! Be kiaful o! Lest my Ibo brothers come after you 😆. This was a really nice one. Nice comic and emotional release at the very end.👍👌👏.

    1. topazo says:

      Zee dear, it can only be Chukwudi…you know na..*wink*
      If my ibo brothers come after me, it will only be to market their wares…hehehe
      Thanks for always dropping a comment

  2. TM says:

    How mean of you, Topazo, taking a snipe at us business-minded, money-oriented, innovative folks… brilliant fellow. Surely many will storm his Upper-Iweka store now. Hehehe

    STORIES @ ALIFEDIARY

    1. topazo says:

      Hehehehe…TM,! I agree with you, they will probably storm the place for his memorial service….lol!
      But I agree with you, the guy is a genius…

      1. TM says:

        You bet he is, lol

  3. LOL. Great approach that could turn out to be his very last.

    Likely scenario: Bride faints before advert is delivered. Groom goes livid. Crowd goes wild and morph into a mob. Lynching―or something close―comes to mind…. You can imagine the probable end of Chukwudi.

    Nice one Doc.

    1. topazo says:

      Oh Senor Joe, Chukwudi’s fate is signed, sealed and delivered!
      Thanks for your stopping by…
      It’s been a while, how have you been?

  4. elsieisy says:

    Lmao. haba Topazo

    1. topazo says:

      Lol…Elsie…your very first comment!
      I must have done something right!!
      Thanks for commenting…

  5. Yemie says:

    This really got me tearing up and Chuks sure does know how to pick his time too, in advertising his stack of petticoats! He’d be mighty lucky to make a break and walk free after that stunts, if the groom doesn’t shed his gentlemanly persona and give him one like POW, right upon the kisser! Aint nuttin’ cute ’bout split lips, broken nose or black eye…he’ll get blitz for shizzie! 😈😂

    Add a whole heap of undiluted and highly concentrated curses from other guests atop of that and I’ll say, the business-savvy Chuks may have just gone from being your regular train wreck, only he aint really waiting to happen and crash; but he’d also burn and practically burst into flames….the goofball! Making folks sweat bullets for nothing?! Confound that!!! 😆😆😆

    Totally love the build up of the story Doc! You’ve become quite the virtuoso in the fine art of conceiving top notch flashes and that buddy, cannot be sneezed at! Write, ride and most definitely rock on; you do know what time it is for sure! 👉😄

    1. topazo says:

      Hehehe…it’s called business strategy!
      But mehn, the guy get liver! Or he doesn’t know the magnitude of what he did…especially if it’s a yoruba wedding!

  6. Adeleke Julianah says:

    Ha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahshaha!!! 😂😂😂
    OMG! 😀 😀 😀 😀
    This cracked me up real hard! Hehehehe!

    1. topazo says:

      Glad you loved it….now get to sharing and making more people laugh!

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