Breezy Zee

Day 3.

The third fairy sister has made magic with her wand.

A very apt poem for the season when women strive to make new hairdos and outdo each other.

***

The things women do …… to me

I can be your crown, if you’ll just let me

My color – red, brown, black or grey

My feel – straight, curly, kinky,

Are things I can’t dictate

I’m fine when you just let me be

A simple adornment is all I need

But ouch! You just wear me out!

Well, life has its twists and turns

And it’s inevitable that I weave my way round it

Sometimes you stretch me beyond imagination

And wonder why my form is brittle

What scares me the most though

Is when you tell me to relax and I fall for it

You promise to make me Dark and Lovely,

Or Soft and Beautiful, you’ll use something Organic surely

For that’s the way these days

And I recline in anticipation – this is no lye

Ah! The horror of it all thins me out

Sucks the hell outa me!

How can you put me in this condition?

Setting me up with the rollers and tongs

A preamble to hell’s fury

Your language is strange these days too

You speak of Mousse, Placenta, Pink Oil,

Perm Repair, Setting Lotion and Lotta Body

There’s all sorts of Expressions, names I can’t fathom.

Who’s Amigo? Who’s Lolita?

They must be Exciting people? I’d love to meet them

Now, must you always talk of Ghana-weaving?

Other countries surely have their own!

Anyways I guess that’s part of the bonding process,

The world’s a global village after all

Now the festivities are close,

And I really need to breathe

But I see you grab that wig

I’m struck by sudden panic, what now?

Words fail me, to tell you

Of the many things you women do to me

And why your kindred won’t accept me

For what I truly am –

The fragile outgrowth from a follicle

Your plain and simple Hair

 

 

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67 Comments Add yours

  1. amity4 says:

    Hahaha! Zee baby!
    This got me rolling on the rug!
    Wow! Hope women will learn to give ‘miss hair’ breathing space
    you missed out Brazillian, Mongolian abd peruvian too
    What about those who only get a wash once in six month?
    Thank God i am not ‘miss hair’ she does endure so much
    Glad i am meee

    1. zikaolofin says:

      Lol! Amity, I’m glad this made you roll on the rug, wow! You’re right, Brazillian, Mongolian et al also must have their say. Hahaha, the things we women do….hmmm.
      Well, again, I must thank Topazo for the opportunity to air on Z-channel. We’re all loving this.

      1. topazo says:

        it is an honor having you her Zee…thanks for doing this!

  2. Adeleke Julianah says:

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahaahhahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh!!!!!! Laughing so loud and rolling on the floor o!!! Kai! Lady #Zee. You’re amazing! You just captured what lots of women will put themselves through. So glad I’m a natural woman! I cherish African simplicity. Thanks Zee, you made my Christmas fun filled…

    1. zikaolofin says:

      Thanks Jules, if this brought smiles to your face, then my mission is accomplished. I can still picture you rolling on the floor and your folks asking, “ah ah Julie, se ko si o?” LMAO. Please just remember, it wasn’t me!

  3. Yemie says:

    *snapping ma fingers with plenty A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E. for maximum effects* This is Fa-boo-lo-si-ty! Wowzer! LMAO!

    The creativity on display here’s slamming Zee! The lingo’s funky, the use of ‘hairdom’s’ terminologies and registers is of tha chainz! You did pull this off, everything fits right in! You made it work too with an ingenius mix of raw hilarity and sarcasm! I totally dig this! Wow!

    A lotta of us ladies complain often times of having a bad hair day! In this masterpiece however, the hair in itself is having its fair share of bad hair days, weeks, months, years; heck! An entire lifetime! The joy of being blessed with the African Hair! *laughing*

    This grabs me Honeycomb, you came through and effortlessly too! Happy Holidays to you and all of yours, keep on soaring up high Breezy Zee! Kudos! LOL

    1. DrSwag says:

      Yemie…..your reviews are so beautiful! I think you should start seriously thinking of giving it more attention in the new year…You are fabulous!!!

      1. Yemie says:

        Oh Good Golly, Miss Molly! I see what you mean Unique, thanks a bunch! I’ll look into that possibility! LMAO!

        Happy Holidays to you and all of yours Swag! Have you a totally great, celebrational and blessed Yuletide season filled with God’s goodness and unrivalled awesomeness! Kudos! LOL

        1. DrSwag says:

          …Yemie, i keep reiterating you are the Xmas gift that came before boxing day. Same to you my sister…

          1. topazo says:

            she is a gift everyday..with her, it is Xmas everyday..

            1. Yemie says:

              So let’s see, if am a gift everyday; what then does that maketh thou?! Wait……..I totally get it now! You’re most definitely a gift every fraction of a millisec! A great gift that just keeps giving! You made all of these happen! We’re totally indebted to you! Thank you, for making all and sundry feel special! Happy Holidays to you and yours; God bless, keep and reward you in a way only He can IJN, Amen! Cheers Doc, you rock sooo darn hard! My word! LOL

              1. topazo says:

                thank you…thank you…thank you…thank you so much. see? you are just awesome!

                1. Yemie says:

                  And you Doc, are unimaginably unbelievable! Rings a bell ei?! I’ll bet! Omo j’omo lo! Omo n’omo pa! Jeun lo jo, kosiyawere! LMAO!

                  1. topazo says:

                    hehehehehe….you, Yemie, are the best! the best of the best to infinity…

                    1. Yemie says:

                      I am aren’t I?! Hmm! Then you’re most definitely, and without a single ounce of doubt; wayyyyyyy better than the best of the best, of the best till infinity! *phew* How’s that grabs you, Doc?! LMAO!

                    2. topazo says:

                      oh well, none can outsmart the queen and goddess of words….

              2. Adeleke Julianah says:

                I can’t but agree with you to Sis! You both are an everyday/hour/minute/second/nanosecond gifts to us all…

            2. Adeleke Julianah says:

              Gbam! On point Doc!!

      2. topazo says:

        yemie, this here is your first new year resolution…

        1. Yemie says:

          I’ll say! *Yinmu* LMAO!

          1. topazo says:

            so, some of us will be watching for its execution all year next year…

            1. Yemie says:

              What are you on ’bout?! Watching out for what exactly??? If memory serves me correctly, Melbin thy sake and soooo many other delightful folks said the exact same thing Swag’s reiterating here! So its no news, at least not to me! Needless to say, my calling’s as a commenter and reviewer if you may; not a blogger or writer! *tongue out* LMAO!

              1. topazo says:

                maybe swag said it better….and then it made such huge sense…

                1. Yemie says:

                  Hmm! You’ve said it! *Yinmu some more* LOL

                  Next year will take care of itself! I live for the moment but thanks anyhow! *laughing*

                  1. topazo says:

                    oh yeah…that’s cool!

    2. zikaolofin says:

      Ok, so this review (it’s no mere comment) got me laughing as in *snapping my fingers…….for fabulous effects.* Why, you did make maximum effect alright and I’m the one who’s rolling on the floor, LMAO! Thanks sis, you always upbuild. It’s not for nothing you’re christened ‘the goddess of words.”

      1. Yemie says:

        Thank YOU Zee, for giving me something to pretty much flap off my gums ’bout! *rme* You totally did me right in! Yes you did! LMAO!

        1. zikaolofin says:

          Thanks sis. You treat me so well

          1. Yemie says:

            Aw! You’re deserving of so much more dear! Told ya I’d egg you on; and am just doing that which I promised to do and you make it so darn easy for me too! Parolo jare, nothing dey happen! LOL

  4. DrSwag says:

    …Zeeeeee, this totally removes the roof! Its given me bowing seizures…Poetic Queen, i can not just stop bowing….phew….

    1. topazo says:

      *coughs* Sir, you too much!

      1. DrSwag says:

        Lol! I could have sworn that was you…

        1. topazo says:

          and you would have been wrong…

    2. zikaolofin says:

      Ha Doc! Seizures ke? Please o, it wasn’t me o, in case they ask. Lol, thanks Doc, I’m humbled. But then again, it was Topazo’s idea, so Topson, 4 gbosas for you o, the grand spinner of mischief.

      1. topazo says:

        lol…Zee, these are good seizures…where he bows repeatedly for your awesome ingenuity and creativity…you really wowed and bedazzled us…I am in a mood to ask for more….

        1. zikaolofin says:

          Hmmm, this is the first place I get to hear that some seizures can be good. Hahaha, I think I need to check that out on WebMD lolzzz.

          1. topazo says:

            some stuff are too deep for WebMD to handle….

            1. zikaolofin says:

              LOL. OMG. This evening’s laughther, I think will last me for like a week. Thanks pal for this platform. It has been real fun.

              1. topazo says:

                it couldn’t have been fun without you, and the fairy sisters…I thank you for making this place the most fun place to be in the whole blogosphere…

        2. DrSwag says:

          Topie….You so right! She has put me in a mode of inexhaustible salaams…I no fit stop and i don try….

  5. Adeleke Julianah says:

    I read this over and over again. #Zee is the #GoddessofPoem. My God, I marveled at her brilliance! She’s the #RAPUNSTZEL that spins words of Poem. Darn it! She’s good, no that’s an understatement, she’s great! Look at the spin, the weave, the twist to the world of women style, fashion and obsession. Unexpected turn in poetry…*staring at #Zee in wonder!*

  6. Adeleke Julianah says:

    It’s as if you know! Everyone’s staring at me as if I just dropped from another planet! #Zee, I truly respect and admire your talent. *Duffs Hat and bows* you’re exceptional, extraordinarily gifted…keep it up!

    1. zikaolofin says:

      Thanks Jules, thank you so very much. You make me smile.

  7. me says:

    Ah! This is an Epic. Like I was literally thrown off my being with the pure genius of this piece. Please can I book tutorials? Lool.

    Really though, this is an awesome read. Welldone madam.

    1. topazo says:

      hey Me, you can book through me…pick up a form after you pay into the account “breezy zee institute”
      GTB 0044556778. the form sells for N10,000.

      1. zikaolofin says:

        Lol, Topazo. I smell One chance somewhere in the air. OYO! Or maybe not. ROTFL

        1. topazo says:

          I be good agent/PR/manager o Zee…trust me

          1. zikaolofin says:

            No kain. I will consider your outstanding credentials (obvious isn’t it) when I start my assessment. Meanwhile, just to be fair, application will remain open for other interested candidates, LOL. Although sha, e be like say you don earn this one already.

            1. topazo says:

              yay! thanks…I won’t disappoint you…lol

      2. me says:

        Oh my. Na pesin wey know you pass dey do you sha. For real though? Err, anyway I like to deal directly Doc. So no, bhet thanks all the same.

        And Madam Zika, here I was thinking anyhow anyhow a sister has always got a sisters back. *sigh.

        Lool! Issall good. Now I learn. 😀

        1. topazo says:

          sorry Me, you can’t deal directly. she has hired me as her PR/agent/manager and I am the door to her in all matters…sorry sis

    2. zikaolofin says:

      Lol! Thanks ma’am. I’m honored.

  8. Ma’am! Ingenious. Piece pretty well woven. iLike.

    1. topazo says:

      these fairy sisters be bedazzling us Joe….

      1. Adeleke Julianah says:

        *Strolls in, looks around, takes a bottle of Coke, sips* What have I missed? Ok, I get it. Sis #Yemie, you dazzle me with you comments! Chai. No one, I mean absolutely no one can take your place…#Topazo, so you’re now PA to our dear Zee? Good, I’m sure no one does that job better than you, #me, have no fear you’re in good hands. #DrSwag, seizures you say? *takes Holy Water and Annointing oil and sprinkles on him* feels better? Oh still having bouts of attack? Eyaa, that’s #Zee’s Poetic Effect! Sis #Yemie, can’t wait for nest year to come, so I can see you Spread your Wings like Eagle and Soar…*stands up to get another bottle of Coke*

        1. zikaolofin says:

          Hmm, you’ve started me laughing already this morning Jules. Had so much laughter here already. Smiles. Meanwhile go easy on the coke o. Jedijedi wanta o!

  9. Adeleke Julianah says:

    Well, our dearest #Doc, if we don’t take care of you and this blog, who will?! You’re more to us than you can ever imagine, and we know you love us too!

    1. zikaolofin says:

      Haha. I love that line, if we don’t…..who will?

  10. Adeleke Julianah says:

    “Snapping my fingers with plenty A-T-I-T-T-U-D-E for maximum effect”! Now that got me whistling out loud!!! Sis! Like seriously!!! You earned a new title for me Sis, #TheQueenOfEnchantingWords! Yeah, that the new Oye for you! *fi ewe oye ha Sis. Yemie ni gele* Oye amori ooo!!! Hehehehe!

  11. Walt Shakes says:

    It’s all about hair.

  12. theinkheart says:

    Na wa o…. that was about hair? I am MESMERIZED!!!! Wow!!! Wow again!!! Another wow!!!

    1. topazo says:

      only Zee could do something like this….

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