It is one of those nights when all your heart is all clogged up and thoughts move at a sluggish pace. Your mind is congested and you are listless. Lassitude takes hold of you and you can’t even pinpoint what exactly is causing your unease. All you know is that, you are not feeling well. It is not a bodily sickness or disease but a state of mind. You have no energy to do anything and yet you have tons of work to do!
It is one of those days that you need to let it all out, to bleed yourself on a canvass. You can see the image in your mind’s eye- taking hold of the brush and splattering the canvass with colours, bright and fiery. There is no pattern, just the hands working on their own accord, perhaps receiving inputs from the mind. Only the colors are not water colors or oil but your blood and the brush are your words being poured out on a page.
You are an artist of words. Your canvass is the pad or screen or any surface that can be written on. You want to spill your emotions on the page, to let your mind do the painting. Art has been considered a form of therapy and you are in desperate need of relief. If there was any time you needed therapy, it was now.
You sit in front of your screen and get set. You give your mind free rein and wait.
All you have are roiling emotions, and a blank page. For the first time, your mind betrays you. All you have are your words, and the meaning and clarity that they give you. But not tonight.
Tonight, you are alone.
Your words have failed you
And you can’t bear it
You bury your head deep in your palms and cry.
Tonight, all you have are your tears, and you welcome them as they flow freely down your cheeks, and as your body convulses with the sobs, you embrace them with open arms.
And through the sheen of tears, you find clarity. Your words come to you and wrap you in their arms and you revel in the warmth. You gasp, and smile through the tears. Then you giggle and wipe your eyes, and then laugh. You feel light and free.
It is going to be a good night after all…
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