Shades of Grey- My Virginity

I am a virgin.

Best believe it. I have touched myself severally, I have been kissed, I have climaxed both from self-stimulation and by another’s, and yes I have made others climax too. Still I have retained my virginity.

And I am proud of it.

Mama would be proud, her head-gear will be the biggest on my wedding day. Father will glow with pride as he behold the fruit of his loins entering into adulthood. Oh, I can’t wait for that day!

Everywhere I go, I just have to let people know that I am a virgin, because it is a sign of self-control. Do you know how hard it is to abstain from penetrative sex? Do you know how rare it is to see a virgin in this morally decadent times? I should be celebrated, worshipped!

Plus, I am an inspiration to younger girls who are under the peer pressure to have sex. When they hear my story, they will be encouraged. Although, if they don’t have enough self-worth and self-esteem to know that only they have the choice over their body, I don’t know if my testimony can help them. But still I will try my best to shout it on the roof tops as loud as my lungs and vocal chords can go!

I am feeling so good right now. I don’t listen to all those haters who say that being a virgin is not a big deal or that virginity is overrated. They are just envious and jealous! They wished they could be like me. Well, sorry for them.

I have a relationship with God and that makes me keep myself. The bible forbids sex before marriage. However sometimes I feel guilty that I indulge in other sex-like activities but I have got to keep my man happy and from being tempted to sin by all those Delilahs out there. Husband snatchers! So what if he fingers me or I give him hand jobs and blow jobs, and then other times we dry hump? God understands. Plus He knows that I am still keeping His commandments and have not ‘defiled’ myself.

So, I am a virgin and am proud. It is part of who I am. I just have to let you all know. I am a woman of worth, I keep to traditional values, and I keep to the law of God. I am priceless and precious because of my virginity. I am a wife material.

I am looking forward to my wedding night ehn… kai! The things my hubby will do to me. He would have had so much experience that he will know how to pleasure me! Why are you gaping? Did you think I was ever going to marry a virgin man? Tufiakwa! Why ever would I do that? So that we will both be fumbling and clueless on my special night? God forbid!

He should have sown his oats before giving his life to Christ and becoming a God fearing man. I am sure the fear of God will keep him from straying and he won’t want to break his vows. Should I not meet his specs in bed, he will be patient with me, he will love me like that and respect me seeing as I kept myself for him. He will just worship me!

They call us prudes, don’t mind them. It is our choice and as such we shouldn’t be judged for deciding what we do with it, when we have sex and with who. We have chosen to wait till marriage, what is their own? Jobless people! Please tell them to face their business. Them that have had the sex so many times that they mix up their lovers in their head, how are they better than us? What benefit have accrued to them? Please tell them to park well!

Having sex is a choice and I have chosen not to have it. I am happy with my decision and I am bold to say it to anybody. When asked to say things about me, I will say “hi, my name is so and so, I am sexy, brilliant and beautiful. And yes I am a virgin, thank you”

 

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So, what are your views on virginity? Who is a virgin? Does virginity define a person? Is virginity a measure of morality? Why is it that virginity is harped only for females? Why is there so much hype about virginity? Should virginity be worn as a cloak of many colors and celebrated?

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18 Comments Add yours

  1. Yemie says:

    Hahahahaha! Such a twisted, hilarious and pretty sarcastic piece this is! Doc, thou leaves moi speechless! Virgin indeed, hian! I can’t! I just can’t deal! But, the shades of grey’s an absolutely befitting title! Wow! LMAO!

    Its a man’s world they say! A man has several conquests and he’s the real deal! A woman dares to do the same and she’s a bitch, slut, tramp, whore, ‘ho’, and the list goes on! A man remains a virgin till his wedding night and he’s a ‘mugu’, freak, nerd, sissy and so on, a woman does same and oh! She’s the absolute virtuous woman! Its just what it is, pathetic but what can we do ’bout it?! *shrugs*

    As for the narrator, she really must be kidding herself! She aint no virgin! Dry humping, grinding, masturbation et al, nah! Thy innocence is lost babycakes, gba bee! LMAO!

    Virginity’s not only ’bout the losing or breaking of the hymen; she’s climaxed and had a release, though not penetrative; but she’s felt a sensual release! Virginity’s awesome, if you can go it till your wedding night and if you can’t, it still don’t make you a monster! Shit happens and well, that’s just my take!

    1. topazo says:

      hmmm… the double standards that society places on the issue of virginity is just mind boggling! why is it the females that virginity is emphasized for? and if she falls short, she is labeled as worthless? how does a woman’s worth correlate to her virginity? is she defined by her hymen?

      oh but make no mistakes, there are “technical virgins” out there a plenty! they have not had their hymen broken but they have done everything else.

      while sexual purity is the ideal, falling short of it doesn’t diminish your worth, after all, all humans are worthless without Christ, virgins inclusive. so kini big deal? the emphasis should be Christ…

      1. Yemie says:

        That’s a very beautiful and factual summary, you reeled out right there Doc! All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God! To the ‘holiest’ ones, God has this to say: our righteousness are as filthy rags! We only get to live through the righteousness of Christ when we give our lives wholly to Him! Good works profiteth nothing, and by strength shall no man prevail! If a newborn who’s never sinned is considered a sinner, for the mere reason that he/she has made his/her way into this world, then what are we saying?! If by the end of time, you find yourself amongst the saints in that ethereal place called Heaven; know it that ye have received mercy! Its not of him that willeth or runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy! Its humanly impossible to do the biddings of God, except through Christ that strengthens us! So let none be vain glorious, glorying in their strenghts and abilities; human strength will fail! Its not by might nor by power, but by the Spirit of God! Chikena!

        As for all those ‘technical’ virgins as you mentioned, man is infamous for turning around God’s laws and commandments to suit their own selfish purposes! The words of the Lord are Yea and Amen! Its boldly written in white and black! Grey areas are men’s devices! We can be very foolish like that! We think we have God cornered! ‘Oh yeah, am a virgin; my hymen’s intact but I still get to practise other profanities and am jolly good’! Folly! Fiddlesticks! God help us all!

        Thanks for this piece of writing Doc, its really worth pondering ’bout! Grace and wisdom multiplied! Peace! Lol

      2. Adeleke Julianah says:

        Had it been male virginity is strictly critisized as female virginity, then I wouldn’t be this annoyed! To think that men can do as they like, but women will be frowned upun if found doing the same or less. Since it is the world of men who have free rein to do whatever, whenever and however. And all these technical virgins are just fooling themselves. Unbroken humen doesn’t make one a virgin, if you have practiced every other styles except being penetrated. I mean…I’m just confused about this society thing, especially in Nigeria’s sect. Like I said earlier, virginity doesn’t define whether a woman is virtuous or not, virtue is a thing of the mind and and how you are disciplined…although being a virgin is a good thing, that doesn’t mean it define you. And like you said #Doc, we are nothing, I reapeat, NOTHING, without #CHRIST, virgin or not!

        1. topazo says:

          I like your conclusion, Virginity is nothing without Christ. being a virgin doesn’t make one better or morally upright. I can’t stress that enough.
          the world does not need more rules and mores, they need Christ. it is only He that can make us new and better

          1. Adeleke Julianah says:

            Without #CHRIST…we’re nothing…

    2. Adeleke Julianah says:

      I love that word you used sis Yemie..#Technical virgin indeed! Hypocrite that she is…

  2. Adeleke Julianah says:

    #Doc! Now you got me almost #Speechless again! Like WOW!!!! This issue is a serious one and thanks for sharing, we really need to clear things up. Well..well..well…Sis. Yemie, you said it all! What more can I say. Ppl think being a virgin is something they can wear as a decorative badge or some award plaques that they can decorate themselves with. Well, there’s nothing wrong with being a virgin, but no need to shove it down other ppl’s throat! If u want to remain a virgin till ur wedding night no one is stopping you, but mind you, that doesn’t make you a virtuous woman. There are those that are call ladies but who are by far better than virgins! Being a virtuous woman has got nothing to do with bein a virgin, some virgins are far worse than bitches. And those that lost their virginities to either circumstance or otherwise, don’t feel ashamed, you are who you are, virgin or not. Just keep up your heads, don’t drown yourself in sorrow of not being a virgin, don’t beat yourself about it, God knows everything…tho’ I’m not in support of premarital sex, but if it happens, then what to do than dust yourself up and move on…thanks Doc, for sharing this wonderful Piece…

    1. topazo says:

      Thanks Jules, I wrote a longer reply earlier but network was bitchy!
      I agree with you. a woman’s worth is not by being a virgin but by her character, her talents, vision, personality and strengths. being a virgin is not a guarantee to good marriage or anything. it is not even a sign of moral uprightness.
      sexual morals is just one aspect of morality. if a virgin steals and lies and is dishonest, she is still immoral…

      1. Adeleke Julianah says:

        Exactly! You’re correct…morality, dignity and character has got nothing to do with being a virgin or not. Rahab was a harlot, but she proved herself worthy by helping the people of God, Mary Magdalene had 7 evil Spirits, but yet she was the first to see our Christ etc etc. So what are we now talking abt. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to be a virgin, if you want to remain a virgin till marriage, then better keep all the Rules and Regulations. If you lick around a the edge of a pot of soup without taking any meat, you’re still a theif! A spade is a spade…

  3. Walt Shakes says:

    I don’t like the narrator. When I think of her, the word ‘self serving’ comes to mind. So she’s a virgin, that’s nice. I laud her purpose. So she engages in all sorts of non-penetrative sexual activities with her man. That’s fine too. I admire her initiative. What I don’t like is the double standard she is championing. She can wear her virginity proudly like a cloak, but her husband-to-be had better not be a virgin? He should have sown his wild oats, but should now be repented? That is okay for the man, but apparently not for the woman, hmm? Because I sense veiled disdain in her attitude to unmarried females who aren’t virgins. Another word that now comes to mind – Hypocrite. If she loves the exotic status of virginity so much, then she should go for a man who hasn’t had sex either.

    1. topazo says:

      exactly walter, the society is all about double standards and hypocrisy. the people that shout “I am a virgins” are more or less doing everything except the penetration. they want to enjoy the best of both worlds.

      plus morality and self worth and value is more than virginity.

  4. zikaolofin says:

    Nah, nah. This one ain’t no virgin. Technically maybe but in the real sense of the word, NO! As Yemie, said, virginity is not about breaking the hymen. By all means I applaud virginity but if you want to be a virgin, face front well, forget about the side attractions. This virgin from all looks of it is more streetwise than many non-virgins.

    1. topazo says:

      well said Zee. if you want the applause of virginity, then keep yourself pure! that means being untainted and pure.
      if one is touching the thing or being felt up, then one cannot claim to be a virgin. Virginity entails innocence, purity, being untouched.

  5. amity4 says:

    Virginity: the state or condition of being pure, fresh, or unused.

    Virgin: a person who has never had sexual intercourse.

    an unmarried girl or woman.

    Ecclesiastical. an unmarried, religious woman, especially a saint.

    What does the BIG BOOK say?
    Hebrews 13:4
    Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
    1 Thessalonians 4:3-4
    For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,

    Ephesians 5:3
    But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

    Purity flows from the heart.
    Do not be like the hypocrites who keep the outer cup clean but the inside is filthy.

    Sexual defilement begins from every unchecked immoral thoughts.

    Not what goes in but what comes out of your heart defiles you.

    1. topazo says:

      thanks Amity. that is a balanced view on sex and sexual purity. it cut across all gender and emphasizes sexual morality. it is not only the female that has the pressure or the praise….

  6. theinkheart says:

    Virginity is not overrated, I will always advice my sisters to keep theirs even though I don’t have mine but this is where people get it wrong. Girls place so much value on their “Hymen” that they forget to groom themselves to become better. Virginity is not a standard any lady should live by, most will keep the Virginity for applause or the praises. Virginity is beautiful but it never defines a woman. It is not a career, character or a way of living you should solely bank on without improving the other areas of your life. It doesn’t even guarantee a good man sef… But a virgin to me is a woman who is beautiful inside and outside, should radiates the purity of Christ and not the world’s..

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