Drowning in the Depths

There is a hole

Where my heart used to be;

There is a buzz in my ears

Like the droning of bees

Asking in a voice filled with tears

How long till I am whole?

 

There is a longing

Deep within, an unease,

Elusive and ill-defined;

A sore that is festering,

An ache that seize

The peace of mind.

 

There is a darkness,

Thick as a blanket,

Cold as ice,

Wrapping its icy hands

Around me; I am breathless

Alone in the dark basement.

 

There is a pain,

Dull and throbbing,

Hidden behind smiles;

That waxes and wanes,

Rising and ebbing,

Like the ocean tides.

 

There is only despair,

A sturdy friend, ever present

As I drown in the depths;

And then there are moments

When I come up for air

Fighting to take a couple breaths.

 

image used courtesy: www.flickr.com

 

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22 Comments Add yours

  1. Walt Shakes says:

    God! This poem speaks to me. I feel like this oftentimes. I’m a slight depressive, and there a really dark moments characterized by most of these written. And then, either the presence or words of a loved one, or my forced high spirits would bring me up for air. #sigh This truly feels personal for me.
    Thanks Topaz for this.

    1. topazo says:

      I am glad this speaks to you and that you can relate. Sometimes it is good to know that you are not alone…we all battle bouts of melancholia, some more than others, and we battle to stay afloat…

  2. Walt Shakes says:

    And sire, may I reblog this?

    1. topazo says:

      With all pleasure…

  3. Yemie says:

    Oh no you didn’t Gloomie and just like that, you don gone set me off again so here goes: This ‘monsterpiece’ is ‘Teeth-Clattering, Mouth-Opening, Jaw-Dropping, Ear-Shutting, Leg-Shaking, Heart-Racing, Fist-Clenching, Eye-Popping, and yet, better still; Finger-Snapping plus Mind-Blowing’! Was ever a mortal so beset by such ingenuity to make gloom appear pretty appealing, mighty romantic and plenty sexy?! I think not! *smh* LMAO!

    Oh Wow! Having a deeply entrenched hole in one’s heart, that can only be filled by a single, very special person can be daunting especially if that possibility’s everything but remote! That’s soo not a pretty place to be in! However, being able to come out from a dark place to take in some amount of air, sounds like a flicker of hope to me. All’s not totally lost, and its really not over till its over! When there’s life, then there’s hope!

    You DID bring it again Doc, and like I always say, you’re an ABSOLUTE force of nature! I couldn’t contain you however hard I tried, I mean; me and WHAT army, like REALLY?! *sighing and laughing so hard*

    1. topazo says:

      Yemie, thanks a bunch. Yes, there is hope..with every journey to the surface for air, death is pushed further away and there is hope for a rescue….but with each voyage up, despair increases with the descent into the depths and more effort is required to go back up…and giving up becomes more alluring.
      And no, I’m not talking about me…

      1. Yemie says:

        Pump down on the breaks Doc! Didn’t say you were talking ’bout yourself did I?! The narrator’s the one speaking like I’ve come to know and accept! So no lele, chillax! *Yimu*

        Worthy of mention’s also this ‘Ah-mazing’ response I just got! Like the higher you go, the harder it becomes to ward off the hindrances and obstructions holding one back! Makes a whole world of sense to me! Your brilliance and wisdom does shine through every masterpiece! Bravo! LOL

        1. topazo says:

          You have an uncanny ability to link me to the poems and responses…hence the need for the disclaimer.

          You will not kill me with all these accolades o…thanks a bunch ma’am.

          See how I’m bouncing? Lol

          1. Yemie says:

            Hmm…an uncanny way he says! Who’s player hating?! Go tell it to the judge and sue me already, hmph! *rme*

            On a brighter note, keep bouncing jare, you’ve got this locked down like BAM! Soar on up and just live life a little! You deserve so much more, enjoy! LMAO

  4. fadehan says:

    This piece is just so good for people the depressed being. It carries the sense of belonginess, that made the reader feel like we all cry for something, hope for something but we’re drowning and the moment we come up for air should just be celebrated becos it keeps the hole in out heart filled.

    Nice one. Doc. Keep it coming!

    1. topazo says:

      Thanks Fadehan…. as long as you reading and commenting, I will keep bringing it..lol

  5. Olajumoke Omisore says:

    Written from the heart. Awesome.
    Good work Doc.
    Thanks for writing this.

    1. topazo says:

      Thanks Jumoke…

  6. theinkheart says:

    Topazo… Tope… Zaphnath… is the same person, yeah (pardon my unknowing state, I want to famz)?

    1. topazo says:

      yea, one and the same. welcome!

  7. buqie says:

    Ah, this is me right now.

    1. topazo says:

      sorry dear, hope you get out of it soon….and here is me reaching out my hands….

  8. Nurain says:

    Poetry that makes you throw your head down, rebuking yourself for not accepting that we, almost at least, all drown in depths, either we willing walk into them, or we are pushed.
    Good poetry Topazo…two thumbs up.

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