You knew that even as you said those vows that you were lying. Yes you love the woman that was standing in front of you, her brown eyes twinkling and her full lips curved in a smile, but your heart belonged to someone else. Someone who was seated in the second row from the front on the left side of the church auditorium, who was also smiling at you at that moment.
You knew that even as you were repeating the words after the pastor that you were making a huge mistake and you had to pause severally to ensure that you said the right name and not the name of the girl that you were picturing in your mind’s eye wearing a white gown and standing in front of you and not the sky blue guinea brocade that she was donning presently.
For a moment you toyed with the idea of walking away from the altar and from everything and boldly declaring your undying love for the one that has your heart, but just for a moment. You aren’t that cruel, you told yourself. So you sighed and resigned yourself to fate.
You smiled and leaned forward to kiss your bride. Unbidden, the image of another time, another kiss and another person flood your mind and you inhaled sharply. You shut your eyes tightly and forced the image out of your mind.
“I really do love you Bode”
Your eyes jerked open and you stared at your bride and blink. She was smiling at you and you managed a weak smile, more like a grimace. Then, your eyes strayed to the woman in blue but her attention was on the man beside her and she was smiling at him.
“I love you too Sade’’ you said and kissed your wife, your mind still reeling. You could not miss that voice, it had been etched in your head permanently and you had heard it unmistakably and it had said “I love you bode” or was it your mind playing tricks on you, you wondered.
You signed the marriage register amidst melodious songs from the famous church choir but you could not shake the heavy feeling in your heart as you signed yourself away to another person. You didn’t mind belonging to one person only not the one you were bonding yourself with.
You danced in front of the altar with your wife holding your left hand and plastered a smile to your face as family and friends came forward for the thanksgiving. She came forward too and your eyes never left her as she swayed and rocked till she was in front of you.
She caught your eyes then and a look registered on her face but you couldn’t place it. “I wish it was you standing by my side today, in front of our family and friends” you told her with your eyes. She jerked slightly, a movement barely visible and looked away.
As she hurried back to her seat, you wondered why things turned out the way they did.
image courtesy http://www.google.com