The Confession

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“You know how much you mean to me, don’t you?”

She nods.

He takes her hands in his and looks deeply into her eyes, golden brown eyes that stare into his soul

“I love you. I am in love with you”

Tears form at the corners of her eyes and rolls down her cheeks. She makes no attempt at wiping them.

“Why are you telling me?’’ her voice hoarse.

He raises an eyebrow

‘’Why now?” her voice has risen a notch and she removes his hands from his.

He opens his mouth to reply but realizes he has no answer. He had loved her all his life but had not had the courage to tell her. Even now he hadn’t known what had made him to say it. It was bad timing. She was getting married in a week’s time.

“I waited for you all these years” her voice sounds distant and she is hugging herself and rocking on the spot. “You had all the time in the world” she faces him “what do you want from me?”

“I am sorry, I didn’t know what came over me’’

“You are sorry?” she says slowly, like she was testing the words. “You are sorry?!” she moves close to him and puts her face close to his. “That is all you have to say? What are you sorry for? The fact that you kept me waiting all these years or the fact that you chose to tell me how you feel about me or is it the fact that you waited till a week before my wedding?”

“I…Er’’ He struggles for the right words to say.

“You have nothing to say right?”

“Honestly speaking, I didn’t know you felt that way about me. I was afraid if I told you how I felt and you didn’t feel the same way, our friendship might not survive it and I couldn’t risk that happening”

She sighs.

“I convinced myself that I would rather have you as a friend than not having you at all”

“You are a coward Tope. You loved me and you were not willing to take a chance and try your possible best to get me” she raises her hand to stop him “You are also blind. You are as blind as a bat! I can’t believe you didn’t see the signs.”

He frowns.

“So all those times that I would stay over at your place rather than going out with my female friends didn’t give you a hint that I liked your company? And when I asked you whether I should start dating Bayo, what did you think I was asking you? Did you think I needed your permission? I was giving you a chance to speak out!

“You stayed there watching as things became serious with him and even when he proposed to me, you were the first person I told and you encouraged me to agree to his proposal. And all the while you had feelings for me? And you could watch me walk away and be with another guy all because you didn’t want to lose our friendship?”

“You were always talking nonstop about him and you seemed to like him very much. I thought you were happy with him and decided to just be your faithful friend and I wasn’t supposed to even mention anything about my feelings towards you”

She shakes her head and turns away.

“I am sorry Sade. I shouldn’t have said what I said, not when you are about to get married. I had my chance and I blew it and now it’s too late. It was very insensitive of me”

Her eyes were on fire as she turns towards him. “You should be sorry; sorry for breaking my heart and believing that I was not good enough for you. You should be sorry for being a coward and not speaking up about how you felt about me. You should be sorry for turning my life upside down with your confessions of love for me now that I am about to be married. How do you want me to deal with your profession of love ehn Tope?”

“Sade, please forgive me. Forget that I said anything”

“I should just forget that you said you love me abi? It is easy for you to say. When you are not the one that has been pining for the man you love with all your heart to notice you and to say those words to you. You are not the one that has dreams of getting married to the guy that makes your world stop and makes you weak at the knees with just a smile. Why won’t it be easy for you to say ‘forget I said anything’?”

The tears were rolling down her cheeks now and her eyes were getting red and swollen. “You should not have said anything, you should have kept your feelings to yourself”

“I am sorry” the words sounds hollow even to him. He inwardly berates himself for his tactlessness and stupidity. He is at a loss for what to do and he just stands and watch her, wringing his fingers.

He forces himself not to think about her words. He did not want to believe that he could be that clueless as not to have noticed how much she had liked him all along. He did not want to think about the fact that she could have been his now and he would have been the happiest man on earth.

He watches rooted to the spot as she picks her bag and walks out the door. Out of his life

 

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44 Comments Add yours

  1. buqie says:

    Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.

    Buh really, why are men like this now?

    Is this girl supposed to leave everything @ this hour for the sake of love?? A girl likes you and you are there forming you’ve been friend-zoned. Chai…..

    Why do I have a feeling this Tope might just be Topazo?

    lol, just thinking aloud.

    1. James Melbin says:

      I think say na only me notice that use of the writer’s real name. Who knows? And it happened to be my name too.

      1. topazo says:

        Hi namesake…welcome aboard!

    2. topazo says:

      well, since you are just thinking out loud, I will leave you to your musings…lol

      buqie, why are you talking like this na? to toast a girl no easy o…you must reduce the odds of receiving a ‘No’ to a minimum…and if you are already her close friend, the likelihood of she saying ‘No’ is higher…she might have come to see you as her brother…

  2. James Melbin says:

    Oh how sad! Sad! Sad. Can’t something be done? As in, the marriage is not yet done. All things are possible, including a swap of proposed wedding groom for the best. Ouch.

    1. topazo says:

      I like your spirit man! ALL things are possible…if ‘Tope’ decides to step up anyways

  3. Yemie says:

    Whoa! This sure as heck resonates on a MASSIVE scale! Not an unlikely occurrence at all, nah-ah! Lolz

    Nice job you did here Doc, I love the seemingly effortlessness that somewhat trails and characterizes this piece. The ease with which the writing evolved, the emotionally- ladened convo, the capturing of the feelings elicited by these two darlings, its just so beautiful, surreal, so REAL! I’ve grown past my ‘imaginations’ or ‘drawing inferences and conclusions’ era, so I’d just put a suck in it and say nothing ’bout the author’s name making an appearance in this lovely piece but then again; I think I’ve said too much already, my badt! What the heck?! Sue me, by all means! *shrugs* ROTFLMAO!

    1. James Melbin says:

      Sister, you can be a writing contest judge!

      1. Yemie says:

        Hello James or should I say, ‘Tope’?! Just kiddin’! Don’t mind me, that’s just the ‘usual’ me being really silly! Dunno if I should be blushing but I’m bowled over and plenty overwhelmed right now and oh, deeply humbled too. I’m forced to ask though, outta curiosity, however did you come up with that notion? Care to share, please. Lolz.

        1. topazo says:

          Hi Tope (since my superfan likes that name, I will call you that) I am so glad for your comments about Yemi’s prowess…when I tell her, she shoves it aside as flattery but now that you mentioned it, I know she will finally believe me. she is awesome, isn’t she?

          1. Yemie says:

            And my brilliant Doc just had to badge in! You just couldn’t resist that temptation, could you now?! Topazo, buzz off and take a hike! LMAO!

            1. topazo says:

              awwww…you knew you had no hiding place now didn’t you…

              1. Yemie says:

                Abegii! Left matter for Matthias biko! Hmmph! * yimu* LOL

                1. topazo says:

                  lol…you never change…

            2. Yemie says:

              *barge in* My badt! Big Oops! LMAO!

        2. James Melbin says:

          Tope is okay 🙂
          Well, I’ve seen some of your comments both on this blog and on some other blogs where you usually comment. Thus the notion was formed.

          I think you are good (if not so good, average) at paying attention to specific details of writeups.

          1. Yemie says:

            Wow thanks Tope, I’m soo bowled over! The question was really deliberate though, was just looking to get you embroiled in a convo! Silly me! And its funny and uncanny too that you and the Doc are sakes! Thanks again, its nice to make your acquaintance. Cheers! Lolz.

            1. topazo says:

              really Yemi? that’s all?

              1. Yemie says:

                Doc, don’t you ever get tired of being mischievous?! Like really, REALLY?! Plus, I saw that ‘fantastic’ and I’m doing a split right here amidst bursting several moves! You Rock Doc, you REALLY do! *winks* LOL

                1. topazo says:

                  Oh, you really are fantastic Yemi and I won’t get tired of saying it….

                  1. Yemie says:

                    *Flushed* I guess this is the part where I ‘blush up a storm’, here goes…… Blush! Blushing!! Blushes!!! Thanks Doc, you’re awesomeness through and through! *bear hugs* LOL

        3. James Melbin says:

          Tope is okay 🙂
          Well, I’ve seen some of your comments both on this blog and on some other blogs where you usually comment. Thus the notion was formed.

          I think you are good (if not so good, average) at paying attention to specific details of writeups

          1. topazo says:

            did you say Good? she is fantastic!

            1. James Melbin says:

              Why, while I was looking for a word to use there, it was ‘good’ that came. But ‘fantastic’ is so precise: then I won’t need to add that phrase in the bracket.

              1. topazo says:

                thanks James, I am sure she is blushing right now…please do stick around

      2. topazo says:

        You think so too? I totally agree!

    2. topazo says:

      Thanks ma’am….I appreciate your comments. apparently the decision to use the name ‘Tope’ for the male character was a good one…sparking some interesting debates….me likey!

      1. Yemie says:

        Yeah sure! And I’m guessing that’s your defence right there. Trying to sell the idea that you’re not the dear in this piece, right?! Well, its NOT working! Na you jor! LMAO!

        1. topazo says:

          and who would ‘Sade’ be? You!
          you remember that day right? I have still not gotten over you…I just thought you should know

          1. Yemie says:

            Being mischievous now are we Doc?! I don’t plain see how ‘Sade’ could possibly be me! For how??? If you were so brazen to use your own name, then I’m pretty sure too that a ‘Sade’ REALLY does exist, plus she knows herself wella! As it is, last time I checked, my parents didn’t christen me ‘Sade’ and I daresay your line of thinking’s warped! Suck it up, Doc and quit being nasty! Its not pretty! *straight-faced with arms akimbo* Silly Nilly! LMAO!

            1. topazo says:

              and I daresay that everybody knows that you are just coding….it is evident, you are Sade.
              soon, I will write the rest of our story.. at least you got your happy ending…

              1. Yemie says:

                Hahahahahaha! Jeez, Dr Temitope Ogundare; are you really for real??? Are you high this afternoon on a form of cheap pill??? What on Earth are you going on ’bout?! What story do you refer??? Ok, its official! Topazo’s gone stark raving MADT! Oh boy! Excuse me while I shoot maself! What a joke, hian! LMBO!

                1. topazo says:

                  yeah…I am high this afternoon cos I had to go drink cos the memories of ‘us’ has been overwhelming these few days….not my fault…I still regret letting you walk away that day…

                  1. Yemie says:

                    Eeyah! This is surely a case of mistaken identity especially seeing as you’ve had one bottle too many! Pele dear, I feel your pangs of pain, you’ll be mighty fine! *Yimu* LMAO!

                    1. topazo says:

                      no dear, it is the other way round. your face and the memories that kept hounding me pushed me to the bottle…I will be fine, I know…when I have drunken myself to stupor and sleep off the pain…lol

                    2. Yemie says:

                      Delusion never looked so….delusional??? Snap outta this Doc, you don’t fool anyone! Least of all, me! *straight-faced*

  4. keeHARa says:

    I’m perplexed, the l-word again? You really have a lot to say about it don’t you? and the belated lover bears his name too… Is this a true life story? *even more perplexed*. I love the storyline, the style is as wonderful as always… I’m off to watch the world cup.

    1. topazo says:

      thanks Kee..
      No, it is not a true life story…and yes I am an incurable romantic and have a lot to say about Love and romance and relationships…
      I am glad you liked the story..
      do enjoy the world cup

  5. keeHARa says:

    You didn’t believe that fib about the world cup, do you? I’m an amateur in love matters, can I reblog one of your posts on love? Pleeaase?

    1. topazo says:

      I did believe o..i love females who love football…though I am not a football lover myself

      please by all means reblog any post of your choice…

  6. Ahhh…O ma se o. Pele Tope. But why didn’t you talk since sef?

    Meanwhile, as I read I imagined characters on a stage performing. This is good for a stage play or something you know

    1. topazo says:

      Hi V, I am glad to see you here…sadly, I have no proficiency or competence in writing plays, can you help? let’s turn this romance into something big…*wink*

      As for Tope, leave the guy jor, the guy na slacker! ko jo mi rara…

      1. Coooool. It’s gonna be hard work though and that’s scary already. Moreover, I have no competence in writing plays either 😦 What do we do?

        1. topazo says:

          let’s try it out all the same…come up with ideas na..

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