Things go wrong because of you!

your greatest enemy is...you!
your greatest enemy is…you!

 

Life is a war. This is common knowledge, a concept that we grew up with. It is not uncommon to hear bad things attributed to ‘’enemies’’ and a large chunk of our prayers are centered on victory over enemies. People run from pillar to post trying to undo curses and hexes that have been placed on them by these enemies. For some the enemies reside in their extended families, for others the enemies are at their workplace or neighborhood. Some go as far as taking their competition as enemies especially in political circles.

In dealing with these enemies, ruthlessness is always the core principle. We treat them as weed; they choke up our lives, take up the nutrient and take over. So one solution is apparent- to up-root, exterminate.

However, there is an enemy that is more powerful than any of these other enemy put together but we often do not realize it and we are usually not aware of its existence. It takes advantage of our make up and build and lies in wait for us at every turn, sabotaging our every move and truncating our dreams, and hindering our progress and the achievement of our potentials.

enemy

Humans are designed to above all else protect themselves and shield themselves from external aggression. The integrity of our ego must always be preserved at all cost. It is what has kept us going but it is also what has always hindered us from being the best that we can be or worse from achieving anything meaningful. It is this very nature of man that this enemy has taken advantage of to wreck its havoc.

In psychology, there is the concept of psychological blind spot, modeled after the physiological blind spot in the retina. The physiological blind spot is a region in the optic disc of the retina where there is absence of photoreceptors and images cannot be perceived. Because it is the brain that interprets the images that fall on the retina, the blind spot is not usually noticed as the images are interpolated based on surrounding details and information from the other eye.

The psychological blind spot is described as aspects of our personality that we are not aware of because our unconscious has suppressed them. It is what makes us see ourselves as all good and the other person as bad. When something bad happens to us we readily blame external circumstances but when it happens to the other person, we blame them.

enemy5 enemy6

It is on this basic human nature that this enemy thrives. The enemy is no other person than you. Yes, you heard me right; you are your own worst enemy. There are several thoughts that are going through your mind now as you read this and one of them is that ‘’it can’t be true’’. Sadly it is true. It is common knowledge but it is often not acknowledged.

Why? Because accepting that will radically change the way we view ourselves and the things that happen to us. It means we would take the blame for most things that go wrong in our lives and we can’t handle that. So our unconscious conveniently suppresses that information and our ego is intact again. We can go on looking for culprits and chasing down external enemies. They are the one to blame for all our mishaps, we convince ourselves.

But if we would take a moment to reflect and be truthful to ourselves, we would come to realize that we are the ones responsible for how we turn out.

There are three basic ways this enemy called ‘self’ fights against us. The first is by the things we tell ourselves, the second is the thing we believe about what others tell us and lastly, the things we refuse to do.

In the next instalments, we shall be exploring these ways in more details.

 

images courtesy: www.google.com

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in what ways have you found out that you were your own greatest enemy? share with us. be generous with your comments! Share with friends too….

 

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39 Comments Add yours

  1. Yemie says:

    I agree absolutely. One’s greatest enemy in this life is oneself. Once one’s able to conquer ‘self’, then conquering external enemies wouldn’t really pose that much of a problem. And with conquering self comes a re-orientation and the right attitude to own up to responsibilities and shortcomings without the need for playing ‘blame games’ and exonerating oneself from failures that may have apparently been one’s fault.

    A thought-provoking piece. Preach on Pst( Dr)! I look forward to reading more in this series Doc. Plus, ‘Ogun -Idiles’ really do exist o. LMAO!

    1. topazo says:

      thanks. oh yes they do exist but they work through the agent of ‘self’

      1. Yemie says:

        Yeah, right! Please elucidate Doc.

        1. topazo says:

          they work through the natural weakness of our constitution. nothing can happen to you without your consent….whether you now know or not is another matter…

          e.g for job, it was what he feared most…for saul, it was image making…

          1. Yemie says:

            You do have a point to a very large extent, I see you did your homework wella, I’m just messing with ya. Great job, more grace Sir. Lol!

            1. topazo says:

              thanks ma’am!
              you can’t help yourself…always have to be naughty..

              1. Yemie says:

                And what’s that supposed to mean? S’emi lo n f’ose yii abi? Alase ni e o, Asekatu!

                1. topazo says:

                  lolz! now the fireworks have started! hehehehehe…

                  1. Yemie says:

                    Wevs, dude! I see your blog’s wearing a whole new look. O ga ju, techno-kid ti n step up o, gbogbo biggz boiz! Ori e wa n be jo, nice one. LOL!

                    I’m also that first illustration of the man trying to pull off his head from his head. Strange! That’s a brilliant concept, very relatable. Sometimes I just wanna get out of myself, now that’s really uncanny. Like trying to run away from oneself or one’s shadow.

                    1. topazo says:

                      you like the new look shey? thanks, I am happy you do!

                      when I saw that pix too, I was like, this is weird but also true most times. we sabotage ourselves most times and try to self destruct…

                    2. Yemie says:

                      Well said Doc, let me leave you be, before you start with your psycho-analysis, inferences and insinuations. Buquie already mentioned in her comment that our back and forth arguments is another post on its own. And she’s sooo spot on too. LMAO!

                    3. topazo says:

                      so, you are as much a blogger on this blog as me….I am so grateful and thankful for you….really…thank you.
                      don’t stop..

                    4. Yemie says:

                      Stop ke? Not on your life! LMAO! If I wasn’t having a ball maself, messing with you; besides the brilliant pieces you post; I’d have bailed like ‘tipetipe’. LOL! But you’re brilliant, you know your onions plus weellll, I think you rock. Scratch that! You Rock actually and you’ve infected me with your ‘oloru of oru’, trait. What’s up with that sef?

                    5. topazo says:

                      lolz! you aren’t the first person I am going to infect with that trait….but I don’t think it is an infection, so much as helping to discover and fan the traits from its embers…

                    6. Yemie says:

                      Hmmm…., Doki Oloye! Those are the very inferences that I’m referring to and once again, he makes a lotta sense. You’re just too wise for your own good. Always have an answer for every question. Agba ‘T’, na you biko o! Say, do you ever sleep at night at all? LMAO!

                    7. topazo says:

                      he that walks with the wise shall be wise….I have learnt from my big sis- aunty yemie.

                      oh, I do o…a lot gaan sef

                    8. Yemie says:

                      Ok. So I should be elated the brilliant Doc thinks me wise but I’d rather choose to vent at him for referring to me as ‘Auntie’, AGAIN and AGAIN. Agba ‘T’, I was not told in history by my loving parents that on the day of my christening, ‘Auntie’, was part of the titles I garnered amongst the names I was given. So I ask you in a very ‘Christian’ manner to desist from terming me ‘Auntie’, pretty please? And what even gives you the confidence that you’re not older than me? Do tell PLEASE.*straight faced*. LOL!

                    9. topazo says:

                      I am rather disappointed at your line of argument. ‘Auntie’ is not a name, but a title. it is a culturally accepted way of honouring people we hold in high esteem. yes, it isn’t your name but it is a sign of respect…..
                      me? older than you? nah….how am I sure? your words reeks of advancement in years….hehehehe

                    10. Yemie says:

                      ROTFLMAO! Gbogbo ara adugbo, e ma wa gba mi lowo Tope omo Ogundare ke. Omode ara mi, kilomode mo??? O da naa, here’s the thing: its a mark of honour for people we hold in high esteem but I say thanks, but no thanks, ma honour mi. E ku ife, Oluwa yio nife eyin naa. So, old age is synonymous with one who speaks wise words, seriously Doc? Coming from you, I’m most disappointed. LMAO!

                    11. topazo says:

                      I never said your wise words were the reason why I perceived you as old. don’t misquote me…if it was another person, I would have said he/she does not understand English.

                      I said your words reek of advancement in years…not what you say but how…do not always assume!

                    12. Yemie says:

                      Topazo, you really are off your rockers and you’re seriously spoiling for a fight. It turns out that I don’t understand English, my words reeks of advancement in years and I’m also assuming, abi beeko? Ti o ba ya nisinyi, wa pe eleke eebu ni ‘aunty’ Yemi abi? Se ko to si mi lati mu e bu daa lowo lowo ti a wa yi? Ok o, take a wild guess and tell me smart mouth, how old you think I am.

                    13. topazo says:

                      since you said ‘wild’ guess…I would say 45-50 years

                    14. Yemie says:

                      ROTFLMAO! Oluwa, Olorun Oba Alagbara, nibo l’oju yin wa. Ogun Orun, e sokale wa ni wakati ati owo yii ki a wa ro mi l’agbara. Tope fe kuku pa mi ki o to di igba ati akoko mi. Olose ni e o, baba nla craze. Haha, alakoba ti o to e l’aye yii o si rara. You’re not even close at all, not by a long shot. For your info, I’m very precocious and too smart for my own good. If you want to know the real thing, you have my E-mail address, send a request and I’ll tell without holding back.

                    15. topazo says:

                      hehehehhehehhe…
                      precocious ko…preconscious ni
                      stop forming I am ayounge abeg…
                      and fyi I literarily took a ‘wild’ guess…if I am to take an intelligent guess, then I would have said the real thing

                    16. Yemie says:

                      Ok, no lele! Enu e ti n din akara ati dundun yen, nise lo da bi wipe ki n wa legbe e bayi bayi, so I can give you a good slap across that your silly face of yours. Now because you’ve been very rude and crude, I’ve changed my mind. Or let’s do it this way, let me humour you, take an intelligent guess, puh-leasssseeeeee!

                    17. topazo says:

                      hehehehehe…for your sake, it is better that you are far away. else…

                      yes, now that you asked the right question, we shall give you a right answer…

                      I would place you between 30-32years. how is that for an intelligent guess?

                    18. Yemie says:

                      Chai! This my young lad’s a real class act o. First, please tell me what would happen if I were close by? Just say it o, don’t evade my question.

                      Second, 30-32? I don’t think so! Not so much of an intelligent guess I’d say. Well you blew your chance, I’m not telling. So you actually thought for a minute that I’d sing? C’mon Doc, how incredibly stupid do you think I am? Like serzly??? Hmmph! LMAO!

                    19. topazo says:

                      lol. I would have being mightily surprised if you had divulged that info….females guard that info to the core…and unless you have access to their birth cert, one would never get that info…

                      you are far from stupid, but then I must needs humour you when you dare me….that’s the fun part…it’s almost like a mating dance…hehehehehe

                    20. Yemie says:

                      Huh??? A mating dance? What’s that? You’ve lost me. Mr question evader, please answer my question o, I’m still waiting. What would you have done if I was closer? *waiting so patiently*. LOL!

                    21. topazo says:

                      oooooh…have you forgotten the bit about leaving it to the reader’s imagination? this falls under that too…

                    22. Yemie says:

                      Please humour me, just this one time and make an exception. What are you scared now? I plenty dare you, out with it already; Scare-Eddy Cat! *tongue out*.

                    23. topazo says:

                      nah. we always know where to stop…and let the real story start…so, feel free to imagine all the possibilities…

                    24. Yemie says:

                      Ariiii! Ase o ti le le rara. Mo sebi o le ni, o n se aya gengen, o n sebi oloba. Radarada, rederede, randanrandan, rundunrundun! O tile laya kankan at all, at all. All na yans, no action; yeye dey stink. Mtchew! ROTFLMAO!

                    25. topazo says:

                      oh boy! *dodgestheverbalbullers

                    26. Yemie says:

                      My thoughts exactly! MTCHEWWW! Egbe buruku! LOL!

                    27. topazo says:

                      awwwww..thanks sweetie…lolz!

                  2. Yemie says:

                    *also feeling*

  2. Walt Shakes says:

    I am truly guilty of this. Often times. It will be a true psychological feat when one takes the time to realize that not all bad things are consequences of other people but of one self/

    1. topazo says:

      it is easier to blame others for the things that go wrong with us and we all fall into that trap every now and then…

      thanks for dropping by

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