Twenty Eight

Today I turn 28. I have been racking my brain for what to write. I couldn’t seem to find the words to express my feelings. I think the problem is that I don’t know how I feel about the past year.

A lot happened in the last couple of months that shook me and unsettled me and I guess I am still kind of numb and still trying to wrap my head around it.

I spent most of the day in front of the TV watching movies. I didn’t want to think. It was too painful to think. This was not how I pictured my life at 28. Not that I specifically set some goals that I wanted to achieve before I turned 28 but this was not how I would have wanted it to turn out.

I felt like I hadn’t achieved much and that my life was spiraling out of control. I looked on the Internet for people who had achieved great things at age 28 and I was further depressed by the results of my search. So basically, my birthday started out on a not too cheerful note, plus I was broke.

Around midday, I headed to the bathroom to have a shower. There I was forced to think. But my thoughts took a different pattern. I remembered the good things that had happened to me in the past year.  I got major exposure in my writing career, I passed two major exams in flying colours, received a few awards and got promotion at work.

Suddenly, the challenges looked small and insignificant. Also, I realized that the problems could have been worse and messier.

There and then my mood changed and I became thankful. Thankful for the gift of life- some people never made it to this age, thankful for God’s mercies that had seen me through the ups and down, for His gifts and blessings. I was grateful for the problems and challenges, the bad choices I made and their consequences, for not letting them break me.

I found myself  smiling and praising Him and being thankful. And yes, I asked Him for a birthday gift.

I was surrounded by love and well wishes and gifts. Oh, the gifts were lovely! It doesn’t matter if I’m going through a hard time or swimming in murky waters or being tossed to and fro on life’s storm, I am being held by His strong arms and I choose to look on the bright side and stay happy. As long as there is life, there is hope and I believe that it can only get better from here on.

So, I had a blast today. Sometimes all we need to stay happy and keep going is just a little perspective. I am glad I did get mine.

So did you have times when you were down and needed a little perspective to make you come around? Love to hear from you… 

 

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Yemie says:

    Happy belated birthday to you, Doc. Here’s wishing you many more fruitful and prosperous years ahead IJN, Amen. Is there ever a time that we don’t sink into despair when we’re hell bent on seeing only the things that we’re still looking to achieve, while totally forgetting ’bout the achievements on ground that have suddenly become so seemingly trivial and banal? It happens to the best of us, every now and then. Whoever is lucky enough to snap out of it in the nick of time, will be the better for it, otherwise, one’s just setting oneself up for major depression.

    1. topazo says:

      Thank you. You are right, focusing on the good helps us to remain grateful and hoping for the best in the future.

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