I was at a marriage ceremony the other day and at the reception,the chairman of the occasion said something that initiated a cascade of thoughts which I’d soon disclose. I really hope you learn a thing or two; this issue is really important to individual and collective happiness.
In his speech, the chairman said to the groom ”you are the head of the family, please act like one”. That got me thinking.
The Man is the ‘head’ of the family. What does that mean? We could start by looking at the structures in the head.
First the eyes, they see the direction where the body is headed. They see danger ahead and move the body away from it. They are the agent through which we appreciate the world; beauty and color is seen through the eyes. The man as the head is the one to be a watchman, to always be on guard and shield his family from external forces wanting to destroy his home. When there is trouble and everyone else is down and depressed, he should be able to see hope in the horizon and steer them to its shore. He should be a visionary, the one that charts the course for the other members of the family to follow. He is a goal getter, not a never-do-well, or a no-future-ambition (NFA) kind of man. The other members look to him for direction and guidance.
Next the ears. Sights and sounds often go together, however, sounds sometimes can be more important than sight. The preservation instincts in animals are dependent more on sounds than any other sense. An antelope would not wait to see the tiger before fleeing, its system has been designed to rely on sounds. Furthermore, instructions are heard with the ears. The man must have a sharp and discerning mind and also be prudent. His priority is the protection of his family and he puts them before all else. He must be given to learning and seek knowledge, he must be enterprising and industrious.
Following closely is the sense of smell. Many a danger has been averted by a well developed sense of smell. Still on the senses, for doctors,they understand that the sense of smell can be a clue to making certain diagnosis: the fishy odor of certain infections, the mousy odor of uremia, the sweet acetone smell of diabetic keto acidosis.
The man that is to be the head must be very sensitive and able to decipher when things are going wrong in his house. When his wife is unhappy or the children are passing through certain challenges, he must be able to sense it and encourage them to open up to him, and help them through it all. He must also be approachable and open and not the cold, aloof, always hiding behind the newspaper type.
The brain is housed in the head and is the ‘central processing unit’ of the body. Nothing happens in the body without the control or knowledge of the brain. It controls the body, it protects the body, determines the course of the body, regulates body processes. In short there’s no life without the brain and it’s all housed in the head.
The man as head is supposed to be around, to be involved in the rearing of the child and must be aware of all the happenings in the home. He must be responsible for any and every decision that is made in the home. He is the champion, the protector, the provider, the guide, the confidant and the leader. That is who the real ‘head’ is.
Now that’s a great responsibility, one not to be taken lightly. The thing with most men of nowadays is that they use the phrase ‘men are the head of the family’ without really fully grasping the weight or full import of those words. The men often use it to assert their authority over the ladies but the truth is most times they fail as ‘heads’!
They often fail in their responsibilities and-get ready for this-that is why marriages fail most times. When the head fails in its responsibility to the body, then the body cannot be healthy. So also when the husband as the head fail in his responsibilities, the marriage fails. The head doesn’t give up! It’s the last structure (because it houses the brain) to give up at death; there is no death without brain death.
Men wake up! Do your duties and do it well. Save those marriages, the ladies are depending on you to do it. They need you to save those marriages,they depend on you. Stop shifting those blames, rise up, be the man you are called to be. Be the head and don’t just bear the title.