Mirage

Meeting you was fate

Falling in love was right

It made me know that I was capable of loving someone;

How could a love so large

Be contained in a heart so small?

Loving you was right

And oh, so wrong!

How could something that felt so right

Be so wrong?

It is a puzzle, a mystery that is life.

And I must leave it all behind,

How do you drop a gem so precious?

How do you leave behind a diamond

When all you have are stones?

Can you really say you are moving on

When your heart has decided to stay behind?

How do you move forward, when you have found a haven?

Can you be yourself

When all you feel is emptiness

A hollow shell, devoid of life?

For my heart is bound to yours

My heart is knit to your heart

We are soul mates, two halves of a whole.

How can this be wrong?

How can leaving you be right?

You are the one,

You make me feel so good, and yet so bad

With you I have known the greatest joy, and now

The greatest pain, that of separation

How do I go on from here?

Without you in my life

To share my every waking moment with

To share every joy and every tear,

Even the craziest thoughts and jokes;

I am out cold without any warmth

You were my warmth.

This is what is wrong,

Leaving you behind

For it is you that I want

It is you that I need;

But you are a lofty idea

A mirage,

Alluring, near

Yet out of reach.

I am sad

I am sad

Can’t you see?

Never mind the smile

Nor the hearty laughter;

Listen to the timbre

And you will pick the strain

Of a wail.

 

I am sad, not mad,

When the heart is down

It spews negative emotions

And sometimes inappropriately;

No, it isn’t anger that I feel,

It is pain, so intense that

I am losing my mind.

 

I am sad,

Look deeper and see the wound

Festering beneath the sheen;

Sometimes, what you see

Is not what is:

When it seems I’m pushing you away,

That is me crying for help.

 

I am sad,

Drowning in my tears;

Sorrow is a billow

Swallowing my soul

Into its yawning depth;

I am lost at sea

Help me.

 

red

Red

 

He saw red.

No, not figuratively. He had seen that earlier.

This was another red. Bright red, splashing the walls with color. If he had been in a relaxed mood, he might have appreciated the art of the red splotches against the cream background.

Instead, he was scared. Bone chilling scared.

The walls were smeared and now, the floor. His hands were shaking, his breath coming out in short rasps and his saucer eyes were fixed at her.

Her eyes were wide, her mouth slightly agape and her face contorted into what was a mixture of shock and pain. Her hands gripping her neck was smeared with blood, which was trickling down her arms towards her elbow and on to the floor where they formed a small pool of darkish red.

‘Do something!’ His mind screamed, and he was jolted to action. His eyes darted about the room looking for… he didn’t know what he was looking for.

‘Pressure! Apply pressure to the wound’. A scene from grey’s anatomy flashed across his mind. It was the scene where Preston Burke was shot. He could picture Miranda Bailey applying pressure to Preston’s arm.

He rushed to the wardrobe and yanked his white Ralph Lauren shirt from the hanger. She had bought the shirt for him on his birthday last week and had ironed it for him to wear to the annual dinner tomorrow. He then rushed back to where she was standing, hands still clutching her neck and removed her hands, firmly placing the shirt on the wound. He looked at her and saw the question in her eyes.

‘Why?’

“I am sorry baby. I wasn’t thinking”

Her eyes were becoming glassy and she was swaying on her feet. He set her down on the floor gently and kept his hands firmly on the shirt which had now turned red. ‘What a shame, such a nice shirt’ the craziest of a thought entered his mind for the briefest of a second before he noticed that her eyes were closing and her breathing was shallow. Panic surged through him.

‘No!’ his mind screamed.

‘Call an ambulance’ another part offered.

He dug a hand into his pocket and brought out his phone scrolling through the contacts. Sadly, this was no USA or UK where you could dial an emergency number and get an ambulance to your location. He found the number of his neighbor and dialed tapping his foot eagerly as he waited for the call to be put through.

At the fifth ring, his neighbor answered his phone and he quickly asked him for a drive to the hospital, surprising himself by how calm his voice had sounded.

Once he was through, he carried her from the bedroom to the sitting room while maintaining steady pressure to the wound.

“I am so sorry” he muttered to her. Her eyes were closed and he could not say whether she had heard him or not. For a moment he thought she was dead and he almost screamed but he saw her chest rise and he almost collapsed with relief.

Panic surged through him again as he noted that her skin was becoming grey and her lips were taken a bluish tinge.

‘Oh dear Lord’ he prayed, ‘please save her for me. I promise to give myself to you’

“Baby please I am sorry. Please forgive me, hold on, fight and don’t let go! I promise I will make it up to you. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. I promise”. A single tear escaped his eyes and coursed down his cheeks.

‘I am crying. Wow’ he thought with awe. He couldn’t remember the last time he cried

“I messed up. Honey please forgive me and give me a chance to do right by you” the tears were flowing freely now.

The door opened and his neighbor walked in and froze. His eyes flew to him and he could read the questions in his eyes, but there was no time to waste.

“Please help me to the general hospital, I will explain everything to you later”

Soon, they were in his neighbor’s car and headed to the hospital. He didn’t even wait for the car to be parked before he opened the door and rushed into the accident and emergency unit.

The next thirty minutes were a whir of activities and passed by in a blur as his wife was placed on a couch and questions were fired at him by the doctor while setting an intravenous line for his wife and assessing the extent of the injury. Then he was asked to go the blood bank to organize blood for an urgent transfusion and he ran as if his life depended on it. Which in a way it did.

When he returned, she had been hooked up to an oxygen cylinder and her head tilted up at 45 degrees. She also had a firm dressing over her neck which was soaked. He was told she would need an emergency surgery and the theatre was being prepared.

‘God, please help me’ he prayed for the umpteenth time. ‘If you save me from this one, I will never lose my temper again’

“Mr. Adebisi” the nurse called, “we are taking her to the theatre now. You can follow us to the waiting area”

He nodded and followed her. He held his wife’s hand and squeezed gently. Her eyes were closed and she had a mask over her mouth, hooked to an oxygen cylinder and Intravenous fluid and blood were hooked to either arm. She looked pale and her breathing was still shallow.

‘God please save my wife’ he prayed.

“Baby, please stay strong. I will be here for you, I am not going anywhere and I promise to make it right” he whispered to her ears as they got to the red line beyond which he couldn’t cross.

In the waiting area, he sat on the leather chair. He was alone and he was grateful for the privacy. The lights were switched off and he sat still in the darkness and allowed his mind to wander to the events of the evening.

They had just retired to the bedroom and Mary, his wife sat at the dressing table and was brushing her hair, the first of her nightly rituals that involved a shower and then application of her numerous facial creams.

He had told her that he would be travelling to Port Harcourt for a training exercise and he would be gone for two months. She had stopped brushing her hair midway and turned abruptly to face him.

“Two months?! Are you the only one in that your office?”

“My head of department asked me if I would be interested and I agreed. I knew he really wanted me to be the one to go but he didn’t want to sound forceful seeing as I just returned from one last week”

“Oh. So you said yes abi? You didn’t even think to discuss it with me. Sometimes I think you prefer that job to me” her voice has risen a notch.

“How can you say such a thing?!”

“Because it’s true. If not that you are inconsiderate, you wouldn’t just decide to please your boss without thinking about me. You just returned last week after a month, and you will be gone for another two months. Two months! You don’t know how hard it is for me to stay in this house all alone”

“It is hard for me too babes, but it is work and I have to do it if I want to rise to the top”

“Exactly my point! You prefer work to my feelings.”

“That’s not true, and you know it. Stop being melodramatic”. He had been getting irritated. He hated to be put on the defensive and he was beginning to feel like a child being scolded. A part of him told him that she was right. He had been putting himself more and more into work in the last six months and had spent less time with her. He pushed the thought aside. He needed to put in the extra work, and it was all to take care of her. She should be understanding and supportive and not nagging him.

“That’s what you always do” she had begun to shout “always dismissing my needs as theatrics. You always trample on my feelings like it means nothing to you. Maybe they don’t. I have the right to express my feelings to you, but you never listen”

“It’s enough woman!”

“Don’t tell me it is enough! I will not allow you to shut me up, just because you don’t want to hear the truth. You are being selfish and egotistic. Who knows maybe there is no training sef, and you are just using work as an excuse to run to your mistress”

He had laughed. “My God! You are just crazy. Now I have a mistress eh? You never cease to amaze me”

“I am crazy abi. It is your mother in the village that is crazy! Fool like you”

“What did you just call me?” his eyes had been narrowed at her and all he saw was red. He could feel blood rushing to his head and his heart pounding furiously.

“It is only a foolish man that will choose work over his family” she had sneered and folded her arms across her chest.

The rage had bubbled over and without thinking he had picked a scissors from her pedicure set on the dresser and buried it in the base of her neck.

The lights in the waiting room came on stunning him and shaking him from his reverie. It was the doctor, a young woman in her thirties, wearing scrubs and rubber boots reaching unto her ankle. It took a few seconds for his eyes to adjust to the light and what he saw on the doctor’s face made his heart to stop, then pick up pace at a faster rate.

Her face was gravelly but he saw a twitch in her jaw muscles, a sign that she was struggling to keep her emotions in check. “Mr. Adebisi—“

“How is my wife?” he cut her short.

“Her injury was severe, the external carotid artery was severed and she had lost a lot of blood, much more than her body could handle and it finally gave out. We did all we could but her organs shut down from the extensive blood loss. I am sorry”

He sat down with a thud and put his hand on his head. “What have I done?” he muttered

“I have also informed the police” the doctor continued “and they have just arrived now”

‘The police’ his mind said over and over. It was gradually dawning on him the full impact of his actions. He would be charged for murder and he would likely face the death penalty or life imprisonment if he was lucky.

He laughed at that. Life imprisonment was ‘lucky’. Hilarious

“This your anger will cost you something dear one day, if you don’t learn to master it”. He remembered the warning of his mother to him when he was a teenager and had injured his younger brother with a stick for calling him a fool. “It is only a fool that lets his anger get the better of him” she had added, as she counselled him after he had served his punishment.

‘You are right Mama’ he thought in despair ‘my anger has just cost me my wife and my life’

writing in colors

Writing in Colors

Light diffracts into a spectrum of

Colors travelling along different

Wavelengths, white is not one but

Seven, fused into one.

Each unique with its own different story

Evoking unique emotions

In the eyes that behold them.

Red, fiery and bright, the color of passion

The color of life;

Blood is red.

Blue, distinct and divine

Born of Mother Nature,

From the expanse of the sky to

The vastness of the sea

Blue is royal.

Green, the color of mystery

Of controversy and subtle evil

Aliens are green

Jealousy, the green eyed monster.

Yellow, cheerful and brimming with energy

Radiant, the color of warmth

Full of energy, full of beauty

Sun is yellow.

Violet, mystical, magical

Brimming with creativity

The crowning glory of the rainbow.

White, the sum total of all

Perfection, purity

An ensemble of unity in diversity

 

******

watch out for a new series. The Colors Series….

Local color

 

Running Wild (Remix)

Previously wrote a poem ‘Running Wild’

and I received a request to write it differently and see how it turns out. Well, here is the remix…

***

Running into the light

Away from the confines of the dark

From the reign of terror

Into the realm of bliss and peace

Away from death and rot

To beauty and blossoming life

Away from pain and sorrow

Away from despondency

To lightness of heart and hope

To laughter and happiness

From being chained

To soaring free, gliding on the wind

Scaling heights and breaking boundaries.

***

So, which do you prefer? Drop your comments below.

Thanks

Her

She is mine, you say

She can’t be

What she tells you

Is not exclusive to you alone

Many others share her heart

And the memories you hold dear

Are a dime a dozen

Did she ever call you pet names?

Or tell you, you are the best, the one

And only? Wipe that grin and dim the blush

You are just one among many others

That is her way, to tell you sweet things

And make you feel good, stroking your ego

She belongs to no one

Never can and never will.

Yemie

Straight from the heart

No, this is not about me

It about another, Yemie

And ‘straight from the heart’

Blending life with art.

She is the queen of words

Reigning in the blogging world

To me, she is a super fan

And more, much more. An

Adorable heart, a free spirit

A goddess, a fairy…..

 

Sorry, I ran out of rhymes….

 

Never mind, this is not about me…

 

Okay, Straight from the heart is up and running!

 

(Rounds of applause)

Zee, we did it!

 

(Acknowledging her nod)

 

Our very own Yemie has launched her blog!

I must say, I was tempted to have her say her first words as a writer here, so that I can share in the shine…but you know, it is time for her to set ablaze the blogosphere…

 

So, go here and have fun with the Awesome, Yowie Yemie!

Sally’s story

It started with a single tear drop that made its way from the corner of his right eye and journeyed slowly downwards down his oval face and unto his singlet. He walked the breadth of his living room, rocking himself as he did and with his hands folded across his chest.

The tears became a steady stream, he couldn’t hold them back again. Then the sobs started, and his whole body shook as the spasms rocked his whole body. He kept walking and rocking himself trying to steady his knees from buckling under. It was a heart wrenching cry, an overflow from a deep well of sadness within.

He would go out tomorrow and he would smile, his friends would see a calm and well collected guy even in the face of so much pressure. They would commend him for his sturdiness. They wouldn’t see him crying, wailing and pleading for mercy at 1 am in the morning and soliciting for help.

‘Why am I crying?’ he asked himself

‘I don’t know’ came the reply

Slowly, the word formed as he thought hard about it.

Inadequacy

Years of failing weighed heavily upon him. It wasn’t just the pressure that was getting to him. It was years of pent up emotions of despair, self-deprecation, despondency and other negative emotions that he couldn’t define.

He remembered the many times he had failed to measure up, and how often his best had not been enough. He struggled under the weight of the guilt as they rolled over him in waves for all the wrong choices he had made. He felt ashamed for all the times he had strayed away from the right path and for not been consistent with his relationship with God. Now, he needed God and he was not sure that he deserved any help from Him.

He was lonely. He had no one to talk to; everybody looked up to him for help. They all believed that he had it all together and wouldn’t believe him if he said otherwise. It has always been him carrying the burden all alone, all his life. Today, like many days in the last months, he was overwhelmed. He couldn’t contain the feelings and couldn’t hold the tears at bay. All evening he had struggled with the growing sadness and had distracted himself with movies.

They had succeeded for a while, but even as he laughed at the comedy he was watching, he had been aware of the increasing heaviness in his heart and the laughter had been surface deep. He could feel the tears bubbling underneath, like a boiling water in a cauldron.

As he paced, teary eyed and with red rimmed eyes, he prayed silently blubbing in between sobs. If only God would just listen and send help to him, he would be grateful.

“Lord, have mercy on me. I am sorry for not always doing right, for making the wrong choices. I acknowledge my guilt and I have no excuses. Have mercy on me”

I will not leave you nor forsake you

It came as a whisper.

He blinked.

Let me tell you a story

His mind began to fill with an image and the story played out in his head.

There was a little girl, her name was Sally. She was a free spirited girl, with wild, unruly red hair and light brown eyes, the apple of her father’s eyes. Every evening, she accompanied her father into the woods. Her father would hold her hands as they walked along the path surrounded by pine trees and dense undergrowth.

Sally loved her independence and after a while would remove her hands from her father’s and would skip happily away running ahead of him. No matter how hard her father tried, she wouldn’t listen and would whine and whine till he let go of her hand and allow her to explore, but he never let her out of his sight.

One evening, they were in the woods, and as usual she had removed her hand from her father’s and had ran ahead. The path was windy and tortuous, and it was at one such turns that she left her father behind. Although her father called to her not to go too far, she did not heed his call. At a fork in the road, she took a wrong turning and got lost.

It took a while for her to notice this and when she did, she could not trace her way back. She had always believed that she knew the way but she realized to her dismay that she didn’t. Fear coursed through her and she began to panic. It was getting dark and a chilly wind was blowing.

She cried out and called out to her father but heard no response. She was alone and was aware of the many dangers that could come to her. Tears coursed down her eyes and she began to regret not listening to her father. ‘I should not have left my father’s side’ she thought. Things got worse, her leg got caught in a trap. She screamed as she watched the blood ooze out from her legs and the pain shoot up her spine.

She heard a noise behind her and turned in fright, her eyes widened. She was overjoyed to see her father running towards her, with tears in his eyes. Seeing her father, she sighed with relief and burst into tears. Numerous emotions warred within her, each striving for supremacy. She was happy, ashamed and guilty.

With deft hands, her father released her from the trap and carried her in his arms all the way back home. While home, he tended to her wounds and bandaged her leg.

“I am sorry” she said after he had finished “I should have listened to you”

He smiled at her “Don’t you worry about it, you are safe now. You will be okay”

A question niggled at the back of her mind and she struggled with it for a while before blurting it out. She asked her father why he didn’t answer her while she was calling out to him in the woods.

“It was the sound of your voice that led me to you” he replied “whenever you screamed, I would pause and listen for the direction it was coming from. There were times the wind distorted the sounds and I couldn’t pinpoint the direction. I had to listen to get to you”

“I thought you were angry at me and decided to leave me” she said soberly, avoiding his eyes, as guilt seized her.

“Look at me Sally” he said and waited for her eyes to hold his “ I will never leave you” he watched as the light returned to her eyes “No matter how cross I am with you for disobeying me, I will not leave you alone, I will always come to your rescue and help you when you ask. I will always keep you from danger”

He leaned forward and embraced her.

He sighed and wiped the tears from his eyes. He didn’t feel alone anymore. Although the sadness was present and he still had the challenges to deal with, the assurance of His presence and His help made it bearable.

It was time to sleep. Tomorrow he would smile at people and it would be heartfelt.

A story in 10 words!

This challenge is from theinkheart. To write a story in 10 words! Such a tall order… so here it is..

****

 

She stabbed her husband repeatedly while picturing her father’s face.

 

***

so, how was it? Comments please

sunrise

Don’t you cry (Song in A Minor)

Don’t you cry, it’s gonna be well with you.

I swear by the gods,

Tomorrow will be alright,

It may not look it now,

I swear by the gods that it’s gonna be well.

Don’t you cry, it’s alright,

It won’t be always be this way;

The darkness can only last for so long

Before it gives way to the dawn;

The blanket of night may shroud the light of the moon,

Soon the sun will come blazing forth in its majesty

And nothing will be able to block its shine;

It will strut like the king of the day, resplendent in colours

Of the rainbow, warming the heart frozen by the chilly

Winds of the bitter, wintery night.

Don’t you cry,

It won’t be long now;

Wipe that tear, muster a smile.

Hold on, don’t give in,

Don’t you give up!

poetry, fiction, life issues, inspirational stories and lots more

straight from the heart

welcome to my little corner of the web.

Kiah

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