Yes, still blank.
The cursor beeps
The eyes move
The screen fades
It is time
For a break
Yes, still blank.
The cursor beeps
The eyes move
The screen fades
It is time
For a break
I am all alone, even though I am surrounded by smiling faces of seeming friends. No one really knows me or understand me. They form an opinion of me and do not bother to find out who the real me is. Beneath their smiles is a thinly veiled indifference.
I have always been alone, never really belonged. In the university, my friends too never bothered to listen to me. Well, I was always the listener and when I want to talk, they are too busy getting wrapped up in their own troubles to find time to hear about mine.
I remember during my final exams, I was so afraid and I tried to tell my best friend but he didn’t even listened. In fact, he laughed. It was true that my grades were better and that I was among the top ten in the class, but did that make me immune from being afraid? After all, success has not being willed to a particular person, and someone that did well in an exam yesterday can flunk today. Moreover, the fact that I was among the best even made the fear worse. What if I don’t perform to expectation? What if I actually failed and have a referral? How would people look at me?
It is not that I define myself by my academic prowess but you see all through my first year, I was an unknown. Nobody knew me, they all passed by me and I was living in the shadows. By the second year, when the results were compiled and I emerged one of the best, I suddenly became known. People started to recognize me and even greet me on the corridors. Ladies and high profile guys began to talk to me. So, I was afraid to fail, I never want to slink back into the shadows again.
My friend was not like me, he had always been in the limelight, and was quite popular. He didn’t understand my fears. He was too quick to dismiss them, I was a genius and I couldn’t fail. Some would argue that he had faith in me and thought highly of me but I don’t think so. I was truly afraid, my fears were real, and if he did really have faith in me, he should have taken some time- five minutes would do- to reassure me and tell me how much he believed in me. That would have made a difference. It would have meant the whole world.
I do not blame him. It just further made me realize that I was on my own. So, that day, I smiled and we continued studying. When the tension became too much, I left his house and came home. I prayed and tried to encourage myself. I asked myself what my worst fears was, it was the fear of failure. Then I asked again what would happen if I failed. I would be devastated, people will laugh at me, and some would even insinuate that all the previous results were a fluke. But then, I won’t die; I would write the exam again and I would pass. The world would not end.
That was it. I steeled myself and prepared for the worst, hoping for the best. I couldn’t sleep all night and my insides were twisted in knots. The next day, I dressed smartly and wore a smile, appearing confident and even helping a few people with their last minute revisions. The results came and I passed. It wasn’t as much as I had expected, but it didn’t matter. I still ended up in the top five.
I wonder if there is something about me that makes me feel invincible and make my friends always believe that I couldn’t fail or come to any harm. They never believe me if I tell them of some bad deeds that I had done. So, I have stopped telling them. I keep them to myself.
But oh dear diary, it gets exhausting keeping it all in. my head is full and my heart is heavy. I wish there was someone I could talk to that wouldn’t judge me or mock me or even wave my issues aside with a single dismissive hand. Where can I find someone?
At least I have you. I can come to you and pour out my mind to you. I know you will listen without interrupting my rantings, even if they are borderline incoherent and make no sense. You wouldn’t judge either. In fact, you wouldn’t even react.
That is why I can tell you that I am in love with my best friend’s wife and that we have being having an affair for the past six months and it is killing me.
Writers are sensitive people, and after the hard work of creating, they are often afraid of what they produce and wonder if it is good enough. Feedback from readers provide the validation they need to believe that they are good enough and the criticisms help to improve too- the healthy ones that is.
Also comments are a way of paying back the writer for the hard work that they have put into creating their art. To not comment is rather painful.
Most writers beg for comments and readership but this writer demands it and I actually admire her courage and her self worth. For bloggers we expect a relationship with our readers and that relationship is built only by the readers commenting.
I especially thank the fairy sisters, lyrical genius, bimpe, fade, inkheart, walter and all the people that have always dropped comments. For the ‘ghost’ readers, it is time to step out of the shadows! We demand your comments!!
Read and enjoy the flows of my blogger friend… and remember, comment!
Originally posted on alifediary:
GET IN THE COMMENTS OR I ABANDON SHIP!!!
I once read this joke on blog I visit regularly and saved it as I thought it not only funny but truly a life lesson…
This post here is specially cooked and served for you, my dear, dear readers.
Something tells me we’ve done this before, hmm? But I think when we did, I was actually begging you, dear people, to come on board and be a real and life part of this blog. That is not the case today. I am not begging. I am not even appealing. I am definitely not cajoling you. Heck no!!!
I am telling it like it is and like it will be. Gbam!!!
This is a blog, a literary blog. It therefore calls for a writer/reader relationship. I write, you read. We have clearly established that we have at least that barest…
View original 2,075 more words
No, it is not mine.
Yes, you guessed right, it is for the “Saving Dapo” novel.
You really need to be there, it will be fun. You get to meet Seun Odukoya, the brilliant author in person and he gets to sign a copy of the book, and get him to write anything you want on the book. Amazing isn’t it?
Okay, see details on the posters below.
So, I know what you are thinking. When is mine? Oh, you just keep your fingers crossed…
Thank you! *bows*
So, this idea started as a poem, one that I had hoped to find the words to write it, since I coined the term here. But then yesterday, the idea bloomed and it has metamorphosed, and I shall present it shortly. First enjoy the poem….
They are fairy sisters
Joined together by their love
Of the spoken word,
Wielding magic with their wands
Casting spells of love in the hearts that read
Amity of the alternate reality
Words that flow in a gentle rhythm
Of aliens and monsters
Love and passion
Zee, motherly and mystical
Writing in brilliant colors, warm and breezy
A windy summer day
Jules, vivacious and effervescent
Sometimes broody and waxing philosophical
A bold stroke in dark colors set against a white canvass
Yemie, the fairy goddess of words
Fiery and feisty
A maestro of words
Lighting the blogosphere from one end to another
Possessor of the blue pixie dust
The essence of magic.
So, I was thinking that in the spirit of the yuletide, and as an appreciation for their support to me throughout the year, I give each sister a chance to write a post on my blog. One sister per day…isn’t that fun? I can’t wait to see what they would write…I am excited already!
And No, you cannot say no to this request. So get ready… the show will air live on the Z channel from 21st to 24th December 2014.
Okay, now comments everyone….
Hold my hands,
I am falling;
My knees are weak
I am overwhelmed;
Way in over my head.
If I say that I have a clue
As to what to do,
I lie, it wouldn’t be true;
Hold me up,
My legs give way,
I have no more strength in me;
Like a reed I sway,
To the boisterous winds of fate;
I rock to and fro
In a hazy dance to the frenzied beat
Of life’s bizarre rhythm,
Writhing and staggering, drunk on despair.
Take me home,
My steps are wobbly;
No, I can’t make it on my own;
Carry me, let my head rest on your chest
As you take me over this hilly crest
And in your inner chamber let me nest
For only under your shadow is true rest.
I was reading a blog post “story of the ABC” in response to the daily challenge “Alphabet soup” and I was inspired to write a poem with the letters of the alphabets- each line will begin with a letter of the alphabet. I set out to write not having any theme and this is what I churned out.
It is not perfect, but it is a pretty good attempt. Please drop your comments, don’t spare them. If you are up to it, let your comments be written in alphabets too- each line of your comments to start with the letters of the alphabets. This should be fun!
Although I would love to
Brag about my proficiency and
Creativity, I really can’t.
Despite the accolades and the
Encomiums, I still think it
Fit to keep my head down;
Great as it might be to get
High on the praise, it is
Inimical to growth and sound
Judgment in future endeavors and pursuit of
Knowledge, which is key in
Literary circles lest I become a
Moniker, and a monument.
Nevertheless, not to acknowledge the applause
Or allow the ointment of adulation grease the chaffed
Palms is not also a pleasant thing to do.
Question is, how do I find the balance?
Relishing the delicacies while
Silencing the urge to binge, learning to
Tread cautiously along the tenuous slope that is success
Understanding that it takes only an unguarded moment and the
Vicissitudes of life like a violent storm can overturn a life’s
Work and lay waste an empire build with sweat and blood, and like a
Xoanon, an image with no power, be left to
Yearn for the days when one was alive and not a story to be told in
Zines of what could have and should have been.
So, who is the first to go? Let the fun begin….
She is mine
And she is mighty fine
When she is gone, I pine
Hours really if you must assign
To it a time line
She is a delicate vine
You see, my spine
Even when I go bonkers when she whines
I really am high, like one drunk on wine
When you have a fork with a single tine
Then you learn how to dine
With caution and still to shine
And when nature by its design
To your hands, a single gem consigns
You stay awake like one with the curse of Ondine
Lest sleep conspire against you and sign
You off to the land of the desolate, among the kine
With no calf, a fate worse than death.
Dedicated to Tami… the definition of cuteness!
Inseminate my mind
Enrich your seed sown in me
Let it grow
Like a weed
Feed it with all the nutrients
And create a right atmosphere
For its birth.
Let it have an impact
Make it bloom and boom
Give it a voice and wings
Far and wide
A timeless message
Never fading in relevance
Give it life
Never let it die
Let it breathe and live
And give life and hope
To the weary
Let it give strength to the faint
And courage to the timid
Give me the power I seek
Latent in words
Spoken or written
Give me influence over men
Changing lives and destinies
For good by words
For by the word, Your word
The world was created.
I have this friend, from a long while ago,
Quiet, with few words but weighty;
Shy with a fragile body that belies great strength beneath
And with such a lovely smile, never fake,
Always reaching the eyes, with cute dimples!
I have this friend from a long while ago,
Who never ceased to tell me how talented I am;
Even when, this ‘talent’ was only a seed
And my attempts were the beginnings
Of a child learning to walk- wobbling.
I have this friend from a long while ago,
Whose words of encouragement were never few,
Who has stayed true throughout the years;
A steady presence cheering me on,
Knowing that I needed to hear those words.
I have a friend from a long while ago,
Who said to me “I believe in you”
Words that help when I am blue,
Words that go ahead to wear the clothes of action;
True friendship is always in deeds.
I have a friend from long while ago,
Who has stayed true till date;
A steady flame, never going dim
Despite the barrier of distance and time;
True friendship never really dies.
I have a friend, from a long while ago,
Who is a year older today;
A jewel in a man’s crown,
And a treasure in my heart;
And I celebrate her today.
Happy Birthday Olabimpe!
Many happy returns…
Wishing you lots of things…
Wishing you God,
And His fullness!
Moving Towards the Light
My thoughts and opinion on General subjects ranging from health, to lifestyle,politics,relationship,spirituality,etc. The A-Z of life.
Scribbles from a broken mind.
state of mind
THE KINGDOMS OF THIS WORLD HAVE BECOME THE KINGDOMS OF OUR LORD AND OF HIS CHRIST, AND HE SHALL REIGN FOREVER AND EVER!”
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Tales of the Heart
Best Foot Forward...
My job is to write your thoughts. Your job is to nod and say "quite succinctly put dear sir, and another lager for me."
...Spitting into the online ocean.
Do you SABI?
Sharing experiences, thoughts and views as I journey through life.
Our life. My words. Your thoughts. Let's do this...
The evolving Christian Woman
Original poetry, commentary, and fiction. All copyrights reserved.
short stories,poems, design thinking
Love. Life. Laughs.